2020 has been a phenomenal year. It was different
in so many ways yet similar in some but overwhelming at times. The thing that
was similar was that my circle, the people who stood by me always were with me
helping me in 2020 as well despite the challenges that they themselves faced in
the pandemic.
I resumed
work post maternity leave in April and since then it has been
juggling between Work from home, work for home , childcare , family time
and what not.
2020
reinforced some of the values that my aaji , parents and atya taught me.
So here goes- What 2020 taught me
1.
Know your close circle. They matter. No one else does-
Who comes in your closest circle? Who will help you
when things go wrong? Who will get you food when you yourself can't? Who
will sit in the hospital with you if the need be? Who will help you when
despite your monetary status( when you are not as well off)? These are the
people that matter. Identify these people, cherish them, love them. Have
gratitude that you have a few such people in life. It is tough to identify your
circle when everything is going on well in your life.
You truly know who is with you when you need help
from them. How do they react then? People who come to n parties with you, do
they come to help? People who come to you because you have a certain
amount of money, a car or a big house are never yours no matter how closely
they are related to you.
Time and again when I have faced challenges in my
life, only my close circle came running for me. Rest were just spectators or
visitors. They came just to mark their attendance and show others that they
visited me. But my circle was the one that stood by me like a rock and actively
helped to get out of a tough situation.
In 2020 too, I needed help. House movement ,and
raising children, doing a job amidst a pandemic were tough. My close circle
kept me going. Right from doing the house movement , to childcare, providing me
food when I couldn't cook, the list is endless.
At
the end of 2020, all I have is gratitude for them
2.
Saving for a rainy day works. It really does
I grew up in a middle class family. Where
saving and spending only on necessities and not on extravagance was a way of
life. My aaji and everyone in the house would emphasize the importance of
saving for a rainy day.
2020 was a living example of how savings were
important . When I joined back work in April, I was worried whether I would be
able to manage all of this. I thought what would be the worse case. When I
imagined the worse case scenario maybe of taking some unpaid time off, I
realised it was an option only because of saving habit and a regular and not so
hi-fi lifestyle
3.
Take one day at a time
In school , when I used to feel the exam papers
ahead are tough subjects, my atya used to say first focus on tomorrow's paper.
Then we can see about the rest.
Come 2020 , I applied this principle like anything.
Some days were so overwhelming and busy , but focusing on the task at hand
produced great results.
Not worrying too much about we have so much to do
in the week . But focussing on what needs to be done today is an effective
strategy
4.
Planning and discipline are a must
I
grew up surrounded by teachers and hence planning and discipline are in my
blood.
2020
was a year of even more intense planning as weekends were dedicated to that: -
grocery shopping list, menu planning. syncing mine and husband's calendar etc
etc. There is no way I could have done so much of jugglery in 2020 without this
detailed planning
5.
There is no better time to start than now
My
aaji used to say "kasa honar, kay honar vichar karnyapeksha kamak
laga". That means instead of thinking what will happen etc, just start
working on the task. I have been thinking about losing weight since long. In
2020, amidst all the madness, I started my weight loss journey by following a
healthy diet. That involved some additional cooking, planning and hence more
effort. But I did it. My thinking of how Iwill be able to manage this in a
pandemic madness transformed to lets focus on what all small stuff I can do
daily that takes me closer to my weight loss goal.
The
difference that this attitude can create is phenomenal
6.Unsolicited
advice comes in plenty. The only action that it should have is ignore
At
the start of 2020, I made a resolution of not to reason with unreasonable
people.
It was not easy but
by being mindful about this, I was reasonably successful in meeting this
resolution. A lot of unsolicited advice that I received was either to put me
down or to boost the advice giver's ego or for the advice giver's selfishness.
None of the people who gave this advice came to help me even once. They were
not in my close circle.
Hence the best strategy
to deal with unsolicited advice is to ignore it,
7.
You are not answerable to everyone
This is a follow-up
from point above. Everyone has advice to give you but you are not answerable to
everyone. Who matters is your close circle. No one is your judge.
For example, In
2020, I stopped answering people after the first time if they asked why I am
not venturing out.
Once you decide who
is your circle, you decide who should you answer
The list can go on
but these are my key learnings. At the start of 2020 , my younger one was just
3 months. At the end of 2020, she is 15 months. At the start of 2020, I was
much more dependent for help in terms of arranging house( my dad did this and I
couldn't have imagined where we would be had he not come in to help). At the
end of 2020, my dependence has slightly reduced in some things, increased in
other. This itself brings about a lot of changes in people dynamics . The
people who are not in your close circle want to portray that they are in the
hope of receiving help from you .
The people who are
in your close circle are always with you. That matters. And that is the only
thing that matters.
Happy new year 2021
folks.
What is your
learning from 2020?
-Dhanashree
