Faith

 She kept going no matter how tough the days

Failures kept coming her way
Faith in herself or self - belief call what you may
'I will  make it ' was her say


It is almost impossible to walk now, the doctors said
With constant physiothrapy , he stay put instead
Years went by on a wheelchair
But finally he was able to walk one day

"I am trying to so hard, but still don't win", a student said
"Have faith in the process, you do you work always"

-Dhanashree Joglekar

On becoming a wife...

For the first 26 years of my life, I was only the daughter of my parents. May 27 2013 formally added a new relationship in my life- I got married and became my husband's wife( Majhya Navryachi Bayko- in the current marathi serial style if I may say). As our hindi movies have sadly depicted it- " Ladki to paraya dhan hoti hain" , so on 27 May 2013 , the " paraya dhan" was given away so to say. What did my family give away or what was that "dhan"?

Was it the endless times that my family sacrificed their personal "me" priorities just for me?

Was it the learning ability they built in me over the years by investing their significant time and effort in me?

Was it the amazing time I had during summer vacations that we were not sent to summer camps because caregivers at home needed a few hours off without getting the blame of sending the child to a creche?

Was it the confidence that they built in me over years by being there with me in my toughest times?

The list can go on....and is probably endless. The list of "dhan" or this wealth of upbringing is endless. But let me cut it short here.My point is when a girl gets married, parents just don't send a girl to another house, they send years of raising a confident young lady who can set up a family. They have probably taken as much efforts or even more to raise her as compared to a boy.So let marriage be a symbol of pride to the girls family - to have raised a superwoman.

I feel I was blessed to have a royal childhood surrounded by people who cared for me. When people say they like my writings, it is my childhood village at work who still motivates me. Hence though becoming a wife has added new relationships to my life but the power and the attachment of my older relations has only grown.

Dedicated to all girls and their parents and extended families....

#weddinganniversary #marriedlife #5yearsofmarriedlife #reflections #majhyanavryachibayko

-Dhanashree

Of giving up..

In 2014, I had the opportunity to visit my husband's alma mater IIM Calcutta for the first time. As soon as I entered the campus, I could sense a feeling of "chill". The same might not be felt by the students but as a visitor visting a campus which has 7 lakes and gentle breeze overflowing , I felt at peace. I remembered William Wordsworth saying - " What is this life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare?" I felt like just sitting by the lake and staring at the gentle waves doing nothing. I had barely completed one year of married life by then and the IIM Calcutta campus seemed more romantic than academic to me at that point in time.

In the first year of marriage, as far as my experience goes everything seemed so rosy , carefree and devoid of any responsibility. Just as I was touring the campus , I noticed this statement written " Perpetual giving up is the eternal truth of life" . It was a statement made by Ravindranath Tagore.

Perpetual giving up, what is that? Giving up all the rat race to lead a peaceful life, giving up money , what was that? But yeah we were on a vacation then and I did want to imagine or think of more profound thoughts. Hence we just clicked a pic there and left.

Our daughter was born in 2015. I believe nobody is trained to be a parent, we all figure it out alongside that journey obviously with help from parents, elders and friends. From being DINK ( Double Income No Kids) couple we became DISK( Double Income Single Kid) couple. Parenthood adds another dimension in your relationship as a couple. It involves giving up certain things you did previously because you have a little one to care for. It means giving up on sleep at times, it means trying to maintain your sanity and giving up on your anger. It also means acceptance of the new situation and giving up on the old.

More years of marriage also means giving up on things which you can't change in your partner. It means accepting what is workable.

As I write this, I feel giving up sometimes means peace. How much should you give up? Why should you give up? All this is very person dependent. But you can judge as is mentioned in the book Dear Ijeawele "Because when there is true equality, resentment does not exist".I only know one thing- try this out in your relationship once- give up on low priority disagreements. Try it once. Its hard but it gives peace. Coz " Perpetual giving up is the eternal truth of life" . As I went to IIM Calcutta this year and saw this statement again, I couldn't agree more.

Try giving up once , try being an unconditionally yours for your spouse sometimes. I had read this word unconditionally yours sometime back- in the context of unconditionally being available for someone. Try being that unconditionally yours for your spouse. I am trying that too. Its difficult but hey whats life without any challenge?

- Dhanashree

p.s - this is from my series of posts on  account of my 5th wedding anniversary
the pic is an old pic from 2014
#weddinganniversary #5yearsofmarriedlife
#marriedlife

5 saal baad-- 5th wedding anniversary

Time has this amazing ability of passing fast when looked at in hindsight. 2 days later I complete 5 years of married life or its my 5th wedding anniversary so to say. I still remember the day when my husband had asked me out. It felt too much filmy style when he proposed as he was driving in the midst of the crowded tilak bridge. There were butterflies in my stomach. My friend for the past few years had asked me for marriage. " pyar dosti hain?" I thought. How do I tell this home, I wondered. And now it is more than 5 years since that incident . Looking back at those initial days still makes me feel so much in innocent love, romance and carefree life. The meaning of love has changed over the years. If if meant going out on dinner dates or impromptu long drives then, it means taking turns to change our daughter's diapers now. Parenthood changed the dimensions of our relationship as I think does happen with every couple. A part of us took control of our life, our time. Her innocent smiles and cute hugs brought us more joy than anything else. They still do. While we missed the couple- only time, there were no regrets. We had our sets of challenges though- managing with less sleep in the recent past , managing our daughter along with an equally demanding job and so on. We have fought over who will take turns in brushing her teeth to who will stay awake with her to whose work takes more priority in case one of us needs to be there for her on a work day.

In the past 5 years, we might have not celebrated anniversaries by taking trips or going to 5 star hotels, we might have sometimes not been there to party with each other due to work commitments. But we have always been there with each other during our toughest times. Be it motivating each other to learn new things or thinking of coping strategies to deal with stress or just hearing it out from each other. We have never been short of time in such cases. We have tried to adapt, and still do- to take care of both of our interests.

Ours may not be a perfect relationship , but the underlying feeling of love remains and that is what sails us through. The meaning of love has adapted too -from just going on dates to a much wider meaning. As I come close to my 5th anniversary-I couldn't but help reflect on the past 5 years and think of how we have grown as a couple. Always thinking about how we miss the initial dating days is always written and talked about- but all things have to age. Every stage in a relationship has its own charm and it is up to us to enjoy. With this I end my post and hope for many more years of fun and companionship with my best friend i.e. my husband.

-Dhanashree