The parenting DCP

A conversation between a mom of a 4 year old girl and and an aunty. Let's call them mom and aunty respectively. Let the 4 year old girl be called as the little one( LO) .The mom is a stay at home mom. Aunty is a retired teacher. The 4 year old studies in one of the hi-fi international schools. So now that the context is set, here goes the conversation

Aunty- So which school does she go to?

Mom- She just started going to Jr. K.G. But you know what, I homeschooled her for. 2 years before that?

( me thinks- homeschooling before 4 , what's that?)

Aunty- Oh wow, how did you do that?

Mom-  I researched, I read a lot of books, I took her out to play. You know homeschooling is not just about sitting at home. Its also about taking kids out, giving     them the right exposure. When I came to Mumbai from Delhi, most people scared me that my daughter will not have social skills as she has not gone to play school. But you know I had worked on that. So I was confident she will do well.

Aunty-  That's really nice to know.  What stories do you read out to her?

Mom-  I read those good night stories for rebel girls . I have already finished one book. Earlier I read Cinderella but I realized that fairy tales and all is too unrealistic. Hence I have stopped. You see she knows so much about them.
(She is now pointing to her daughter and indicating her to show her intelligence maybe)

LO- I love Cinderella

Mom- oh you know so many other stories, don't you? And aunty you know what I have restricted her screen time too. We have set time for the day which is divided into intervals of 10 mins.

( And the conversation continues.......)

What do you infer from the conversation above? A super mom talking? Or a retired teacher listening?

All I infer is a lady who is trying to prove what she does for her kid to others. There is some much 'I' in the conversation above trying to prove supermom skills. Right exposure is a word I hear too much these days. I do xyz for my kid to make him/her smart and all rounder is also heard quite often nowadays.

All I wish to ask is, did the parents themselves do as many things as they expect the kids to do?
Also If the kid is smart, the results will show. As a parent, you do not constantly talk about your absolutely awesome parenting skills. For god's sake, parenting is not a competition and at least for me such conversations to put in IIM lingo seem like parenting DCP( desperate class participation)

#yeh_aaj_kal_ke_parents

-Dhanashree

Chatterbox or No Chatterbox

My little one 'S' says this  to me daily...
"Mumma , I love you ";
"Mumma ,we are best friends ";
"Mumma,  you are the best"
"Mumma, I want to talk to you..let us talk while Dad is watching match"..
And this goes on..
...
.....
......
Today 'S' had matrudin celebration in school..( don't know how matrudin falls today but anyways...)
The activity was making a card in school and talking what you feel about your mother..

After school Me to 'S '- What did you tell in school about me ?

S- Nothing..

Me - Why?

S- Because I didn't want to tell

Me- Why?

S- I didn't want to tell na that's why...

I felt like the moment when your phone has data but the battery decides to go off at the wrong time ...:)

#kuch_to_kaho_kuch_bhi_kaho
#meri_bol_bachchan_khamosh_kyun_hain
#dsaidso
#yetanothermumstory
#justanothermumstory

- Dhanashree
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

The perfect "mommy" weekends

You know you have had a perfect "mommy" weekend when...

Your Saturday morning starts with a school Parent teacher meeting....
Your most important task of the week is doing the action items in the parent teacher meeting...
Your achievement of the weekend is your little one finally dancing to the annual day school song..
Your most important networking is meeting and associating the parent faces to the kids names  that your little one takes while playing "Teacher Teacher " at home..
You finally feel like you have emerged victorious when the teacher has no complaints for your child..
.
..
...
Your Sunday evening is spent by meeting people most of whom know you as your Kids mommy... "Swara' s mummy " it is for me..
And last but not the least..just as you think you need to catch up with friends, your daughter asks you when can she get her friends at home  :)

#parenting_weekends #mommy_weekends_done_right #swara_ke_pass_maa_hain
#justanothermumstory
#yetanothermumstory
#dsaidso

- Dhanashree
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

The IIM 'B'aths

Thanks to Rajkumar Hirani's 3 idiots, I can relieve my IIM B campus again. So the other day while watching the song 'All is well', I told my 3 year old 'S' , that this is IIMB- my college.
'S' told me she wants to go IIM B. So I told her , if you study well you get there.
In due course of time,  she has developed a liking for that song 'All is well'.
A few days later.......
.
...
....
......
.......
........
'S' to me( referring to the washroom scenes in the song) - Mumma, did you have bath like this in IIM B?

Me (thinking  OMG .. Why why is she asking this) - No..Why?

S - Then why are they bathing like this ?

Me - Because it's a movie  , it's not real

S ( referring to the 3 idiot iconic pose from the song)- Mumma, in IIMB people do weird things na ( In Marathi, IIMB madhye loka kahitarich kartat na)

Me- No , they dont do like this, it's a movie, only the college is real. Rest is not..

....
A couple of days later......
S ( during her bath) - Why do they have bath like that all is well in IIM B?

I am like .....

Going on in my mind then "All characters and events depicted in this film are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to actual events or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental."

#kahaani_poori_filmi_hain
#thande_thande_paani_se_nahaana_nahi_chahiye_sardi_ho_jayegi
#dsaidso
#justanothermumstory
#yetanothermumstory

-Dhanashree
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Pyjamas are "NOT" forgiving

I must say I really admire all those  mom's who are super dressed  all the time even when  they are with their kids. I love dressing up too, wearing matching jewellery,  makeup etc. But when I am with my daughter all this doesn't necessarily  apply. I try to slip into my super comfortable loose pants/ pyjamas along with a loose kurta/top. I think sometimes I may just look like I have woken up from sleep.

It so happened that I wore the same black pyjamas for a couple of days when I went out with my daughter.
The second time she told me ( in front of  a few other moms) - "Mum, if you wear the same pant again , pls don't come with me"

I still tell my mum sometimes about her dressing choices and now I have a daughter who does the same to me from all little as 3.
Maybe yes my repeated black pyjamas are NOT forgiving:)

#dsaidso #justanothermumstory #yetanothermumstory
- Dhanashree

Related post -http://dsaidso.blogspot.com/2018/07/matching-matching.html?m=1

*Pyjamas are Forgiving is title of Twinkle Khannas upcoming book

The Shubh Muhurat

Thanks to the traffic scene these days, there is no exact time that I reach home daily. There is a bare minimum of standard deviation of + or - 20 mins from the mean time I reach daily.

 My daughter S who is seeking my attention and waiting for me to reach home is all excited about me coming in. So then we chat, we play. Then in the hope that she will be quiet when she is well fed, I feed her dinner.

The stage is all set for me to have dinner. I get my plate.

Just as I start eating,  S says "Mumma , diaper, I want to do potty"

Ok not so great timing, I think. To avoid further trouble for myself, I immediately put on her diaper. I again start to eat.

 Before I finish , she has finished her potty.
Up comes her voice, " Mumma I am done, please change the diaper"

Uffff....
No matter how much standard deviation may exist in my arrival times at home, or my dinner time, S's  potty time just has one shubh Muhurat. That's my dinner time- no matter what time I have my dinner :)

My mind goes into flashback mode -
MBA job interview scene - Where do you see yourself 5 years hence?

Me (then)- Learn, take more responsibility  blah blah

Me (now) - Trying to maintain my sanity while being super hungry, yet prioritising diaper changing while having dinner :) , and doing this daily over and over again.

#the_kid_pee_poo_saga
#dsaidso #yetanothermumstory #justanothermumstory

-Dhanashree
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

To A.C or to not A.C

First  there was TV and now there is AC. If  you ask me what's common between the two ,it's this- it's extremely  common to have different members of the family to have differing opinions on their usage. In case of TV it's about which channel to watch..In case of AC it's typically about two things - whether it should be ON and at what temperature.

So in my case it's no different - Mr , Little S and me have very divergent opinions on the AC usage. While it's always  a AC ON for the Mr , it's a AC OFF for me. Little S's opinion is mostly on my side,though it occasionally tilts to the Mr side. This is typically to get him to tell a nice story.

So it's just another night. We all want little S to sleep. Mr. as usual has put ON the AC.I as usual try to convince him to put it OFF.
Just as I wonder what would little S say, there she goes in a loud voice

" Baba, AC  band kar, mala ratri susu hoil" ( which means-Dad, pls put off AC else I will pee  and wet the bed in the night)

Probably one of the most funny , yet true reasons for putting off the AC.;)

#the_kid_pee_poo_saga
#dsaidso
#yetanothermumstory
#justanothermumstory

_Dhanashree
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Mirror Mirror My Daughter

We are the doctor's clinic. My 3 year old daughter S is unwell - having the usual cough cold and fever. I am reading on the mobile.

S to me- Mumma, why are looking at mobile? Your eyes will get spoilt.

Me (embarassed) - Because I am reading something important.
( Now I close the mobile and start talking to S. Few mins later ,I am looking at the mobile again)

S to me- Mumma don't look at the mobile. Your eyes will get spoilt. You will get chasma.

( Now I am embarrassed like anything. S's tone was quite high this time. The people around wondered who is the mother and who is daughter. I closed my mobile and kept it in the purse. I thought I am done with my share of embarrassment for the day. But wait, hold on...)

S to me - Mumma , why have you put lipstick ?Your lips will become black

Ok, I am like facepalm again. Feel like can't even show my face around.
I can only say...
Mirror Mirror in front of you
Repeats everything you say on you

#dsaidso #yetanothermumstory #mydaughterismyteacher

- Dhanashree
https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

The modern day babysitters

Mostly all schools have started by now. Vacations are over . Wait - do kids nowadays have vacations? For namesake they do, but mostly are constantly engaged in one activity or other. As per an article last year by Manu Joseph in livemint " In the summers, city children are made to undertake so many recreational activities, it is as though they are inmates of Tihar jail. "

Summer camps is the new in thing. The glamorous babysitter nowadays that keeps city kids engaged in vacations.
Summer camps are not a new phenomenon per se.  They existed even when I was a kid( I was born around mid 80s so you can get an idea of the time I am talking about). But that time as far as I can remember mostly kids who were interested in a particular hobby were sent to respective camps. For rest of us, summer camp meant visiting nani, cousins and playing in the building. Nowadays I see every other kid going to summer camps in vacations and tuitions during school times. Lot of preschools and daycares have this summer camp things.Half the day in summer camps , rest  half of the day put kids to sleep, caregiving is easy and simple. If the kids are put in a creche, it does not have a fun quotient. Plus it becomes evident that nobody wants to look at home.As Manu Joseph puts it "Also that everything the child does has to be laced with the sugar of entertainment. As a result, children are constantly entertained, with only the degree changing, and they have come to expect life to be ceaselessly entertaining"

This is not to say that summer camps are bad. For some they might be a necessity.  To each his own. But to constantly justify them and create a feeling of FOMO to those who don't is basically not right.

I know so many parents who justify putting their kids to tuitions and discuss this with others how they are losing out by not sending their kids there. When mostly the reason is in that time all they want to do is watch TV and have a kid free time. My cousins who are teachers have told me such examples to the extent that some parents even pick up their kids late from tuitions so that they have more peace at home.

Thankfully my daughter is too small for a this. But when I look around and see all these things , I can't but help writing about them.
Check out Manu Joseph's awesome  article on the same here - https://www.livemint.com/Leisure/YCBTfOQKrQsUMVWJMTbH4H/Schools-out-what-should-our-children-do.html

- Dhanashree
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Matching Matching

S -- Look what I am wearing, Mumma .. See my top is pink and pant is pink, matching matching. Why do you wear black pants all the time?

Me -- ( with the look of - ok, I know that I mostly wear black trousers these days but why do u remind me of same :P ) Because black goes with everything, I wear black pants. Wouldn't you do the same ? If you wanted to wear more tops wouldn't you have more black pants?

S -- No , with blank pants I will wear only black top or navy blue top, matching matching

Me -- ( facepalm)

- Dhanashree

P.S. S is Swara my 3 year old daughter

I don't bother attitude!

My daughter S has cat eyes.

S  to me :Mumma, they tease me in school. They say "You have cat eyes" and start laughing
S was saying this jokingly and did not seem concerned about it

The concerned mum in me asked - " So what do you do about it? What do you tell them?"

S - Nothing

Me still being concerned that S would feel bad about her teasing- asked again the next day," What do you do when they tease you?'

S- Nothing

S said this as coolly as she could.

I felt if S at 3 years old could ignore the irrelevant comments why do we as adults feel offended when someone comments on us?
 Once again, my daughter was my teacher!

#mydaughterismyteacher #justanothermumstory #dsaidso

-DHANASHREE

My morning motivation

S to me- Why aren't you wearing that pink and white top? You haven't worn it for ages

Me- Because I have become fat and it no longer fits me

S - Why don't you for a round( to walk ) , then you will be thin

Me - ( facepalm🙄)

S to my MIL(3 times repeatedly) - D is not wearing the pink top because she has become fat..

Ok - in case you are wondering who S is - S is Swara , my 3 year old daughter.

Who am I- sometimes I wonder who is the mother and who is the daughter ;P

Maybe now she will be my weight loss consultant- pointing out how fat I have become and need to walk

Just the sarcastic motivation  I need probably:) On international yoga day, seems like well timed gyan

Till then perpetually trying to be a successful professional, amazing cook, loving mum, good wife, now try to lose weight and  the list just continues...

-Dhanashree

#justanothermumstory #dsaidso #myweightlosstamasha

My daughter on a Mars mission?

To add to the countless WhatsApp and Facebook groups , I am now a part of my daughter's school WhatsApp group
The overwhelming amount of messages on that group sometimes make me wonder if my daughter is on Mars mission
Then there are discussions like
- handkerchiefs lost
-  kids going to adjacent classroom on first day
- stuff getting exchanged etc and many many more

My daughter exchanged her floaters yesterday with someone else. The other day she got some identical water bottle of another student. And the dear WhatsApp group tries to put things in their right place. Trying to make sense of this randomness.

This makes me wonder and think - Is  parenting a stochastic process filled with Random variables and events? I highly doubt if it even follows the definition of any particular stochastic process - maybe it is just a random walk :P

#parenting #dsaidso #randomness #yetanothermumstory

-Dhanashree