In 2014, I had the opportunity to visit my husband's alma mater IIM Calcutta for the first time. As soon as I entered the campus, I could sense a feeling of "chill". The same might not be felt by the students but as a visitor visting a campus which has 7 lakes and gentle breeze overflowing , I felt at peace. I remembered William Wordsworth saying - " What is this life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare?" I felt like just sitting by the lake and staring at the gentle waves doing nothing. I had barely completed one year of married life by then and the IIM Calcutta campus seemed more romantic than academic to me at that point in time.
In the first year of marriage, as far as my experience goes everything seemed so rosy , carefree and devoid of any responsibility. Just as I was touring the campus , I noticed this statement written " Perpetual giving up is the eternal truth of life" . It was a statement made by Ravindranath Tagore.
Perpetual giving up, what is that? Giving up all the rat race to lead a peaceful life, giving up money , what was that? But yeah we were on a vacation then and I did want to imagine or think of more profound thoughts. Hence we just clicked a pic there and left.
Our daughter was born in 2015. I believe nobody is trained to be a parent, we all figure it out alongside that journey obviously with help from parents, elders and friends. From being DINK ( Double Income No Kids) couple we became DISK( Double Income Single Kid) couple. Parenthood adds another dimension in your relationship as a couple. It involves giving up certain things you did previously because you have a little one to care for. It means giving up on sleep at times, it means trying to maintain your sanity and giving up on your anger. It also means acceptance of the new situation and giving up on the old.
More years of marriage also means giving up on things which you can't change in your partner. It means accepting what is workable.
As I write this, I feel giving up sometimes means peace. How much should you give up? Why should you give up? All this is very person dependent. But you can judge as is mentioned in the book Dear Ijeawele "Because when there is true equality, resentment does not exist".I only know one thing- try this out in your relationship once- give up on low priority disagreements. Try it once. Its hard but it gives peace. Coz " Perpetual giving up is the eternal truth of life" . As I went to IIM Calcutta this year and saw this statement again, I couldn't agree more.
Try giving up once , try being an unconditionally yours for your spouse sometimes. I had read this word unconditionally yours sometime back- in the context of unconditionally being available for someone. Try being that unconditionally yours for your spouse. I am trying that too. Its difficult but hey whats life without any challenge?
- Dhanashree
p.s - this is from my series of posts on account of my 5th wedding anniversary
the pic is an old pic from 2014
#weddinganniversary #5yearsofmarriedlife
#marriedlife
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