The real 'Santas'

" If you have money, everyone will give you gifts. But when you don't have anything, hardly anyone would give you anything. Those that help during those trying times, matter" my Aaji(  grandma) would say. By God's grace and my parents hard work , I never had to struggle for basic necessities in life. Hence there was no trying time on those parameters as such. Therefore I always felt my aaji's sayings to be too philosophical and old bookish too. But as time passed ,we grew up and experienced the true meaning of her sayings. How when everything is going on well in life, people come to party. But if you need some help( not necessary monetary) , most of those would turn their back. Think of how many  people would bother to make a genuine call and help during hospitalisation? How many would help a genuine and needy relative?
Its X’mas and the holiday season. The season when Santa Claus gives gifts to people. Does a real Santa Claus exist? For me , it does. That Santa Claus who gave me gifts of help and support  when I needed it the most. He is the one who helped me without any expectation of return. The Santa who gave me all the support, motivation  and help when I probably didn’t do as well in life. The Santa who will stay to support me in a house as small as a  1 Room Kitchen house without any complaints.
Honestly ,now  for most of us our job provides us enough to fulfil the basic necessities of life. We do not need a Santa to provide us material gifts..All we need is good people around us to lean on. When my aunt was sick with cancer, my mama who is a doctor who provided all the support during her treatment. Similarly there are many occasion like this where many well wishers come to help. For me they are the real Santas..The true heroes and gift givers..If you have such Santas, take a moment to thank them this holiday season. .
Cheers and Happy Holiday Season !

-Dhanashree
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Merry X'mas

It's Christmas and the holiday season
The bays are decorated this festive season
Maybe somewhere there's a Secret Santa
Who's there to bless all this junta
You can be one too;
Spread cheer, happiness and positivity too
Sharing and Caring
Thats what Christmas is all about
Collaboration is in our behaviourd without any doubt
Lets get , set , ready and go
To welcome 2019 in our tow

--Dhanashree

Yours, always-

" You don't want to come out , you just don't like to travel" , Mr. said after one of our upcoming weekend trip discussions
" Who will look at our little S? And what about my office work?" I asked
" Look at Asha , she has 2 kids and she is always up for plans with Deep . You are just not romantic" Mr. said angrily and left

Mr. had a hectic week. Work pressures combined with the changing weather meant he fell very sick suddenly. I had a busy week too in office. But Mr. needed attention. Mr. becomes a tiny kid when he's sick. He needs to be attended to. I took few days off. Maybe I did nothing major. Or maybe I did. Going with Mr. to the doctor, reminding him of medicines, taking care of his diet and motivating him that he will get well soon.

"You always travel with me in my tough times no" , Mr. said holding my hand.
" That's how it's meant to be, isn't it? I am yours, always" I said smiling

Romance manifests itself in different ways. Travel itself has deeper meanings. For a true partnership is being with each other during ups and downs.

-Dhanashree

The New Born Visit Manners

This is for that time of the year when maybe someone from your friends or family circle has a newborn in the house . You are all excited to meet the newborn either at its home or if you are invited for the naming ceremony.
Before you visit or when you visit there are some basic ground rules to be followed. I call them "The New Born visit manners"

1. If you are visiting immediately in the hospital, call and ask about the visiting hours. Even if the hospital allows to visit during non-visiting hours, resist the temptation to do so unless unavoidable. The mother generally needs rest and is tired after the delivery. If its a C-section as was in my case, I was constantly feeling like sleeping. If someone would visit me , though I would excitedly talk to them but then I would get tired and sleep again

2. If you are visiting the new born at home, very clearly ask if you can visit and at what timings. A house where there is a new born is trying to set itself and tune itself to the new born sleep timings and habits. Having a visitor unannounced or at unwelcome timings is a strict no-no. Many people would hesitate to say no to visitors. Its best to judge and use intuition as well before visiting.

3. No matter where you visit the newborn, as much as possible avoid taking him in your lap or moving him around. New borns catch infections very immediately. Avoid handling too much. I have seen so many times during naming ceremonies - one after the other the guests take the newborn with them. Many a times even if the mother is saying no, still the guests would do it. "Hamare bacche ko aisa Kiya kuch nahi hua" is the excuse. Remember no two bacchas are same.

4. And yes about milk- if the baby is exclusively breastfed, avoid advising the mother on how formula is also ok. Also no feeding anything additional if mother is against it. I remember during my daughter's naming ceremony, someone had suggested I should give a taste of 2 ice cream drops to my daughter. And how nothing would happen to her. I very clearly said no. Respect what the mother says.

And yes if you realy feel like helping or care, you can do these things
1. If there is a new born in your neighbor's house, ask if they need help for accompanying during vaccination
2. Help with getting healthy food for the mother, any other grocery stuff or the likes

If the excitement of visiting the new born is accompanied with some help( wherever possible, which might not be the case always) ;then it would be really great.

I wanted to write this for long but a visit friend's newborn finally made me write this down. Lot of people ignore commonsense ( common sense and empathy very uncommon these days :P ) in such cases and cause unnecessary inconvenience to the new born and its mother.

(Issued in interest of mothers of new borns and their families)

-Dhanashree

Talk it out...

Neeta had almost given up.A long distance relationship, her job and her 1.5 year old kid were becoming too much for her to handle. Day by day it was getting more and more stressful. She hardly had any support at home, her husband was in another city and her child care was not working out well.
" What is the use of all this money , if I am not able to look after Ahana well?" She thought. She came to office thinking about the same and almost collapsed.

Her friends took her to the office doctor. She asked her to relax, gave her glucose and checked her BP. It was on the higher end. Neeta never had BP before. 

The doctor asked her if she had any stress recently. On hearing this question, Neeta broke down again. She told her situation to the doctor and cried her heart out. She said she was constantly worried about managing job and family well, especially her little one. 

The doctor calmed her down. The first thing she told is things take time and she should not panic. She also suggested various alternative child care options. The doctor connected Neeta to a women's support circle. She also suggested Neeta to connect to a psychologist if required. 

Neeta implemented some of her suggestions. Most importantly she decided , she would stay connected with the support group so that she could share her problems. That way she didn't feel alone. Plus when you see so many others going through similar issues, you can learn and support each other. Day by day, Neeta became confident and stronger. She now aspires to start some women's support cells herself.

From a woman who was going to quit her job, to someone who wants to start a womens support cell, neeta has come a long way. If you ask me, what I learnt form her , it is the ability and the necessity to talk it out. If Neeta had not spoken to the doctor, she would have given up long back
Nothing is impossible, don't give up.there is always hope. Talk to the right ppl, do the right things, the right results do follow sooner or later

The Travelling Dad

My husband travels pretty frequently for work. For a lot of people, travel is glamorous. But what would a person like my husband who travels frequently feel? How is it for him to be away from family? Trying to pen those feeling in my words. Any frequent flyer can relate to this. As I wrote this, I remembered Salil Kulkarni and Sandeep Khare's Marathi composition "Damlelya babachi kahani" . This song had tried to pen down similar emotions in a very very beautiful manner.

Boarding at gate 1C the lady called out
Between arrivals and departures my life moved about
You are upgarded to business, the air hostess said
Should I be happy or sad , my mind wondered instead

"Darling calling", my phone rang
"Dad, tell me the bus story", my little darling sang
" About to take off" I said sadly
"Love you beta, we'll speak tomorrow" I said convincingly

When will this flying end? I thought
My little one is growing too fast , will time wait for my story to begin
Why am I doing this, is it even worth it?
Tired and famished, I fell asleep that moment

In this cycle of life, time passes faster than I can imagine
How many stories should I miss telling I don't even want to imagine
Somewhere I need to slow down,my heart tells
But when opportunities come, head takes over instead
Between head and heart is a tough choice
I only wish my two darlings( read-wife and daughter) are happy with whatever is that choice

-Dhanashree

Chai Vai Pyaar Vyaar

"Let me make tea for you" Mr said while he was yet-to-become-my-hubby-and-still-in-the-boyfriend state.
"Oh wow, you can make tea", I exclaimed at his sweet gesture.
This was one of our first meetings at his home.

The tea Mr made was masala tea and had a lot of milk. Certainly not my kind. But you know it had 'pyaar'...My 'dhak dhak dil' accepted that milk tea as my kind of tea and drank it happily. Tea is my first love and when my love made it , I fell for him even more.This meeting made one thing very clear to me- Mr likes Milk tea, the tea which smells more like milk than like tea.

When I made the first tea post marriage , it was milk tea. I was the nayi dulhan trying to fit in the family which was my family now. Husband still felt it was not perfect. I was not able to have it, coz it was not my kind and the initial pyaar vyaar was now replaced by ghar-baar.

In the past 5.5 years of marriage, I have made various kinds of tea. Tea with only water initially and then milk poured at end. Tea with milk and water 50-50 . Tea with only milk. Obviously in all these variants , sugar and tea powder are added either at end or in between. My husband still feels I can't make the perfect milk tea.
He vouches and craves for the other amazing and yummy dishes I make like farali misal, ragi poori and many more. But tea , no. Maybe my making my husband's tea is not my cup of tea.

Its our anniversary day. Mr and I due to our work commitments are tired and not able to plan anything big. As soon as I wake up, I see a tea cup in front of me. My kind of dark colored tea. This is what 5 years of marriage does maybe. Ek chai , patni ke naam...;)

My earlier poetry on tea here http://dsaidso.blogspot.com/2018/07/my-daily-date.html?m=1

#internationalteaday
#tealoverforever
#chai

-Dhanashree

On time....

I had a pediatrician appointment for my daughter this afternoon at 12:30. At 12:45, I asked the sister there by when he would come in the clinic. I told her that I am working from home and have a call at 1:45 which I need to take. She called the doctor and informed him of the same.

The doctor came in by 12:55. As soon as he entered the clinic, he called me in immediately. The sister was serving him water ,so I waited. He told me not to wait outside his cabin but to come in. The first thing he said is ," Sorry, I am late. My daughter is coming from London hence I was busy with that stuff.." He examined my daughter and then asked me whether I would make it time for my call. I said yes and thanked him and left.

So many people these days have absolutely no value of time, and most importantly of someone else's time. They wouldn't even feel that it is wrong showing up late, forget apologizing for that behaviour. But in this case a prominent doctor felt sorry the delay and was actually concerned whether I would make it on time.

This doctor is 80 years old. He is one of the prominent paediatricians in Mumbai. Patients visit him from very far off places in Mumbai and outside Mumbai as well. But the quality I respect him for is his humility and empathy. The little yet not so little things that matter..

Edited to add( after Ameya Khaladkar's suggestion) - The doctor here is Dr Ramesh Potdar who practices in Jeevak Hospital in Dadar East ( near station)

-Dhanashree

I want money but no work...

"Toys, gifts for a 4 year old girl please" , I asked the shopkeeper fellow at my regular shop

Sushma who normally helps me with this gifting shopping was busy with some other customer and hence I asked him.

" I don't know about the toys, she will help you ", this guy said pointing to Sushma

Sushma indicated to him she was busy and told him to help me.With great disinterest he showed me the toys and again said he can't help on this and that she is a better person for this task.

In a stationary and gifting store, what is so difficult about showing toys for kids. There might be so many customer's during the day that might be asking for this. It is not as if only Sushma is supposed to assist in this.
But the attitude is - feigning ignorance helps in evading responsibility. So , why not?. Do the "yeda banke peda khaneka" naatak and get away with work.

Before worrying about how AI will take away jobs, it would be wiser if people did the job at hand and not evade responsibilities....

-Dhanashree

#just_saying
#the_i_want_money_attitude_but_no_work

Why did I marry you?

" Why did I even marry you?" he asked after one of our fights.
"Even I don't know why did I marry you", I said in anger
" You just don't understand me", he said
"Sometimes even I need to be understood", I continued

We decided we will not talk to each other. Maybe we were talking too much, expecting too much. Maybe we need to give ourselves a break. Luckily we got it as he went on an official tour for the next 2 days.

" I miss you. Why do we even fight?" he said over whatsapp. Mind you, we were still not talking but texting.
" I don't know , maybe that's how its meant to be" I replied
" I am tired and miss you baby , See you tomorrow. "

I was in the - part of me loves him and part of me is angry with him emotion. Anyways it was late in night. Without thinking too much, I decided to go to sleep.

It was 8 pm and Mr. was supposed to come at 9. My maid had made thalipeeths. He doesn't like them at all I knew. Still in my confused love anger emotion, made his favourite wheat rava dosa, pomegranate juice and dal rice. Served him and continued my lying down- relaxing and book reading ritual.

" How are you feeling? " he asked as he came and gave me a foot massage
"Very relaxing"

" We love each other so much why do we even fight?" he asked
" Because I want a foot massage" I laughed
" No because I want my favourite dinner daily" he continued laughing

Maybe in the mundane or too competitive world, our fight drama and then making up keeps us going. That madness , love , friendship, anger keeps us alive. And that's certainly why I married Mr.

-Dhanashree

आता वाजले की बारा..

आज माझ्या नवऱ्याच्या फ्लाईटमध्ये अतुल कुलकर्णी होते, अगदी बाजूच्या सीटवर. माझ्या नवऱ्याची फ्लाईट दुपारी १२ वाजताची होती ..११:३० ला त्याने मला अतुल कुलकर्णी  बरोबरची सेल्फी पाठवली. तेव्हा अतुल कुलकर्णी यांच्या नटरंगमधलं "वाजले की बारा" हे गाणं सुचलं.. आणि त्यावरच  आधारित ही पुढील कविता सुचली. हल्ली केलेल्या विमानप्रवासात( माझ्या किंवा कामानिमित्त माझ्या नवऱ्याच्या) विमान वेळेवर आलं - तर सगळं बरोबर आहे का ?असं वाटतं इतकी delayed flights  ची सवय झाली आहे. अतुल कुलकर्णी  फ्लाईटमधे असतील आणि ती delayed असेल, तर अशा वेळी कुठलं गाणं म्हणतील?

( कविता स्त्रीलिंगी लिहिलीय, कारण मूळ गाणं तसं आहे)

आज डिसेंबरची सकाळ, त्यात ६ डिसेंबर आज
धडधड काळजात माझ्या माईना
कदी कवा कुठं पोचू जीवं झाला यडापीसा
 ट्रॅफिकचा न्हाई भरवसा वेळ पाळंना
राखली की मर्जी बॉसची, फ्लाईट साठी आले
 या धावपळीने चिंब ओली मी झाले
 फ्लाईट निघेल कधी बरं, काळ येळ ठेवून तर
 मला पोचू द्या ना वेळेत, निघा ना…
फ्लाईटला जाऊ द्या ना त्वरित , आता वाजले की बारा.
फ्लाईटला जाऊ द्या ना त्वरित , आता वाजले की बारा
फ्लाईटला जाऊ द्या ना त्वरित , आता वाजले की बारा

कशा पाई वेळ काढता, गोल गोल फिरता
असं काय कर्ता,  हिला-
उडवा की लवकर ‌तरी
९ ची बी फ्लाईट गेली १० ची बी गेली
आता ११ ची  फ्लाईट निघाली
फ्लाईटला उडू द्या ना त्वरित, आता वाजले की बारा

आणि फ्लाईट सुरू झाली की ते काय म्हणतील ? ----" अप्सरा आली....." (विमान सुंदरीला बघून :))

-धनश्री
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com