Thursday, December 27, 2018

The real 'Santas'


" If you have money, everyone will give you gifts. But when you don't have anything, hardly anyone would give you anything. Those that help during those trying times, matter" my Aaji(  grandma) would say. By God's grace and my parents hard work , I never had to struggle for basic necessities in life. Hence there was no trying time on those parameters as such. Therefore I always felt my aaji's sayings to be too philosophical and old bookish too. But as time passed ,we grew up and experienced the true meaning of her sayings. How when everything is going on well in life, people come to party. But if you need some help( not necessary monetary) , most of those would turn their back. Think of how many  people would bother to make a genuine call and help during hospitalisation? How many would help a genuine and needy relative?
Its X’mas and the holiday season. The season when Santa Claus gives gifts to people. Does a real Santa Claus exist? For me , it does. That Santa Claus who gave me gifts of help and support  when I needed it the most. He is the one who helped me without any expectation of return. The Santa who gave me all the support, motivation  and help when I probably didn’t do as well in life. The Santa who will stay to support me in a house as small as a  1 Room Kitchen house without any complaints.
Honestly ,now  for most of us our job provides us enough to fulfil the basic necessities of life. We do not need a Santa to provide us material gifts..All we need is good people around us to lean on. When my aunt was sick with cancer, my mama who is a doctor who provided all the support during her treatment. Similarly there are many occasion like this where many well wishers come to help. For me they are the real Santas..The true heroes and gift givers..If you have such Santas, take a moment to thank them this holiday season. .
Cheers and Happy Holiday Season !

-Dhanashree
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Monday, December 24, 2018

Merry X'mas

It's Christmas and the holiday season
The bays are decorated this festive season
Maybe somewhere there's a Secret Santa
Who's there to bless all this junta
You can be one too;
Spread cheer, happiness and positivity too
Sharing and Caring
Thats what Christmas is all about
Collaboration is in our behaviourd without any doubt
Lets get , set , ready and go
To welcome 2019 in our tow

--Dhanashree

Saturday, December 22, 2018

Yours, always-


" You don't want to come out , you just don't like to travel" , Mr. said after one of our upcoming weekend trip discussions
" Who will look at our little S? And what about my office work?" I asked
" Look at Asha , she has 2 kids and she is always up for plans with Deep . You are just not romantic" Mr. said angrily and left

Mr. had a hectic week. Work pressures combined with the changing weather meant he fell very sick suddenly. I had a busy week too in office. But Mr. needed attention. Mr. becomes a tiny kid when he's sick. He needs to be attended to. I took few days off. Maybe I did nothing major. Or maybe I did. Going with Mr. to the doctor, reminding him of medicines, taking care of his diet and motivating him that he will get well soon.

"You always travel with me in my tough times no" , Mr. said holding my hand.
" That's how it's meant to be, isn't it? I am yours, always" I said smiling

Romance manifests itself in different ways. Travel itself has deeper meanings. For a true partnership is being with each other during ups and downs.

-Dhanashree

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

The New Born Visit Manners


This is for that time of the year when maybe someone from your friends or family circle has a newborn in the house . You are all excited to meet the newborn either at its home or if you are invited for the naming ceremony.
Before you visit or when you visit there are some basic ground rules to be followed. I call them "The New Born visit manners"

1. If you are visiting immediately in the hospital, call and ask about the visiting hours. Even if the hospital allows to visit during non-visiting hours, resist the temptation to do so unless unavoidable. The mother generally needs rest and is tired after the delivery. If its a C-section as was in my case, I was constantly feeling like sleeping. If someone would visit me , though I would excitedly talk to them but then I would get tired and sleep again

2. If you are visiting the new born at home, very clearly ask if you can visit and at what timings. A house where there is a new born is trying to set itself and tune itself to the new born sleep timings and habits. Having a visitor unannounced or at unwelcome timings is a strict no-no. Many people would hesitate to say no to visitors. Its best to judge and use intuition as well before visiting.

3. No matter where you visit the newborn, as much as possible avoid taking him in your lap or moving him around. New borns catch infections very immediately. Avoid handling too much. I have seen so many times during naming ceremonies - one after the other the guests take the newborn with them. Many a times even if the mother is saying no, still the guests would do it. "Hamare bacche ko aisa Kiya kuch nahi hua" is the excuse. Remember no two bacchas are same.

4. And yes about milk- if the baby is exclusively breastfed, avoid advising the mother on how formula is also ok. Also no feeding anything additional if mother is against it. I remember during my daughter's naming ceremony, someone had suggested I should give a taste of 2 ice cream drops to my daughter. And how nothing would happen to her. I very clearly said no. Respect what the mother says.

And yes if you realy feel like helping or care, you can do these things
1. If there is a new born in your neighbor's house, ask if they need help for accompanying during vaccination
2. Help with getting healthy food for the mother, any other grocery stuff or the likes

If the excitement of visiting the new born is accompanied with some help( wherever possible, which might not be the case always) ;then it would be really great.

I wanted to write this for long but a visit friend's newborn finally made me write this down. Lot of people ignore commonsense ( common sense and empathy very uncommon these days :P ) in such cases and cause unnecessary inconvenience to the new born and its mother.

(Issued in interest of mothers of new borns and their families)

-Dhanashree

Monday, December 17, 2018

Talk it out...

Neeta had almost given up.A long distance relationship, her job and her 1.5 year old kid were becoming too much for her to handle. Day by day it was getting more and more stressful. She hardly had any support at home, her husband was in another city and her child care was not working out well.
" What is the use of all this money , if I am not able to look after Ahana well?" She thought. She came to office thinking about the same and almost collapsed.

Her friends took her to the office doctor. She asked her to relax, gave her glucose and checked her BP. It was on the higher end. Neeta never had BP before. 

The doctor asked her if she had any stress recently. On hearing this question, Neeta broke down again. She told her situation to the doctor and cried her heart out. She said she was constantly worried about managing job and family well, especially her little one. 

The doctor calmed her down. The first thing she told is things take time and she should not panic. She also suggested various alternative child care options. The doctor connected Neeta to a women's support circle. She also suggested Neeta to connect to a psychologist if required. 

Neeta implemented some of her suggestions. Most importantly she decided , she would stay connected with the support group so that she could share her problems. That way she didn't feel alone. Plus when you see so many others going through similar issues, you can learn and support each other. Day by day, Neeta became confident and stronger. She now aspires to start some women's support cells herself.

From a woman who was going to quit her job, to someone who wants to start a womens support cell, neeta has come a long way. If you ask me, what I learnt form her , it is the ability and the necessity to talk it out. If Neeta had not spoken to the doctor, she would have given up long back
Nothing is impossible, don't give up.there is always hope. Talk to the right ppl, do the right things, the right results do follow sooner or later

The Travelling Dad


My husband travels pretty frequently for work. For a lot of people, travel is glamorous. But what would a person like my husband who travels frequently feel? How is it for him to be away from family? Trying to pen those feeling in my words. Any frequent flyer can relate to this. As I wrote this, I remembered Salil Kulkarni and Sandeep Khare's Marathi composition "Damlelya babachi kahani" . This song had tried to pen down similar emotions in a very very beautiful manner.

Boarding at gate 1C the lady called out
Between arrivals and departures my life moved about
You are upgarded to business, the air hostess said
Should I be happy or sad , my mind wondered instead

"Darling calling", my phone rang
"Dad, tell me the bus story", my little darling sang
" About to take off" I said sadly
"Love you beta, we'll speak tomorrow" I said convincingly

When will this flying end? I thought
My little one is growing too fast , will time wait for my story to begin
Why am I doing this, is it even worth it?
Tired and famished, I fell asleep that moment

In this cycle of life, time passes faster than I can imagine
How many stories should I miss telling I don't even want to imagine
Somewhere I need to slow down,my heart tells
But when opportunities come, head takes over instead
Between head and heart is a tough choice
I only wish my two darlings( read-wife and daughter) are happy with whatever is that choice

-Dhanashree







Saturday, December 15, 2018

Chai Vai Pyaar Vyaar


"Let me make tea for you" Mr said while he was yet-to-become-my-hubby-and-still-in-the-boyfriend state.
"Oh wow, you can make tea", I exclaimed at his sweet gesture.
This was one of our first meetings at his home.

The tea Mr made was masala tea and had a lot of milk. Certainly not my kind. But you know it had 'pyaar'...My 'dhak dhak dil' accepted that milk tea as my kind of tea and drank it happily. Tea is my first love and when my love made it , I fell for him even more.This meeting made one thing very clear to me- Mr likes Milk tea, the tea which smells more like milk than like tea.

When I made the first tea post marriage , it was milk tea. I was the nayi dulhan trying to fit in the family which was my family now. Husband still felt it was not perfect. I was not able to have it, coz it was not my kind and the initial pyaar vyaar was now replaced by ghar-baar.

In the past 5.5 years of marriage, I have made various kinds of tea. Tea with only water initially and then milk poured at end. Tea with milk and water 50-50 . Tea with only milk. Obviously in all these variants , sugar and tea powder are added either at end or in between. My husband still feels I can't make the perfect milk tea.
He vouches and craves for the other amazing and yummy dishes I make like farali misal, ragi poori and many more. But tea , no. Maybe my making my husband's tea is not my cup of tea.

Its our anniversary day. Mr and I due to our work commitments are tired and not able to plan anything big. As soon as I wake up, I see a tea cup in front of me. My kind of dark colored tea. This is what 5 years of marriage does maybe. Ek chai , patni ke naam...;)

My earlier poetry on tea here http://dsaidso.blogspot.com/2018/07/my-daily-date.html?m=1

#internationalteaday
#tealoverforever
#chai

-Dhanashree

Friday, December 14, 2018

On time....


I had a pediatrician appointment for my daughter this afternoon at 12:30. At 12:45, I asked the sister there by when he would come in the clinic. I told her that I am working from home and have a call at 1:45 which I need to take. She called the doctor and informed him of the same.

The doctor came in by 12:55. As soon as he entered the clinic, he called me in immediately. The sister was serving him water ,so I waited. He told me not to wait outside his cabin but to come in. The first thing he said is ," Sorry, I am late. My daughter is coming from London hence I was busy with that stuff.." He examined my daughter and then asked me whether I would make it time for my call. I said yes and thanked him and left.

So many people these days have absolutely no value of time, and most importantly of someone else's time. They wouldn't even feel that it is wrong showing up late, forget apologizing for that behaviour. But in this case a prominent doctor felt sorry the delay and was actually concerned whether I would make it on time.

This doctor is 80 years old. He is one of the prominent paediatricians in Mumbai. Patients visit him from very far off places in Mumbai and outside Mumbai as well. But the quality I respect him for is his humility and empathy. The little yet not so little things that matter..

Edited to add( after Ameya Khaladkar's suggestion) - The doctor here is Dr Ramesh Potdar who practices in Jeevak Hospital in Dadar East ( near station)

-Dhanashree

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

I want money but no work...

"Toys, gifts for a 4 year old girl please" , I asked the shopkeeper fellow at my regular shop

Sushma who normally helps me with this gifting shopping was busy with some other customer and hence I asked him.

" I don't know about the toys, she will help you ", this guy said pointing to Sushma

Sushma indicated to him she was busy and told him to help me.With great disinterest he showed me the toys and again said he can't help on this and that she is a better person for this task.

In a stationary and gifting store, what is so difficult about showing toys for kids. There might be so many customer's during the day that might be asking for this. It is not as if only Sushma is supposed to assist in this.
But the attitude is - feigning ignorance helps in evading responsibility. So , why not?. Do the "yeda banke peda khaneka" naatak and get away with work.

Before worrying about how AI will take away jobs, it would be wiser if people did the job at hand and not evade responsibilities....

-Dhanashree

#just_saying
#the_i_want_money_attitude_but_no_work

Sunday, December 9, 2018

Why did I marry you?


" Why did I even marry you?" he asked after one of our fights.
"Even I don't know why did I marry you", I said in anger
" You just don't understand me", he said
"Sometimes even I need to be understood", I continued

We decided we will not talk to each other. Maybe we were talking too much, expecting too much. Maybe we need to give ourselves a break. Luckily we got it as he went on an official tour for the next 2 days.

" I miss you. Why do we even fight?" he said over whatsapp. Mind you, we were still not talking but texting.
" I don't know , maybe that's how its meant to be" I replied
" I am tired and miss you baby , See you tomorrow. "

I was in the - part of me loves him and part of me is angry with him emotion. Anyways it was late in night. Without thinking too much, I decided to go to sleep.

It was 8 pm and Mr. was supposed to come at 9. My maid had made thalipeeths. He doesn't like them at all I knew. Still in my confused love anger emotion, made his favourite wheat rava dosa, pomegranate juice and dal rice. Served him and continued my lying down- relaxing and book reading ritual.

" How are you feeling? " he asked as he came and gave me a foot massage
"Very relaxing"

" We love each other so much why do we even fight?" he asked
" Because I want a foot massage" I laughed
" No because I want my favourite dinner daily" he continued laughing

Maybe in the mundane or too competitive world, our fight drama and then making up keeps us going. That madness , love , friendship, anger keeps us alive. And that's certainly why I married Mr.

-Dhanashree

Thursday, December 6, 2018

आता वाजले की बारा..

आज माझ्या नवऱ्याच्या फ्लाईटमध्ये अतुल कुलकर्णी होते, अगदी बाजूच्या सीटवर. माझ्या नवऱ्याची फ्लाईट दुपारी १२ वाजताची होती ..११:३० ला त्याने मला अतुल कुलकर्णी  बरोबरची सेल्फी पाठवली. तेव्हा अतुल कुलकर्णी यांच्या नटरंगमधलं "वाजले की बारा" हे गाणं सुचलं.. आणि त्यावरच  आधारित ही पुढील कविता सुचली. हल्ली केलेल्या विमानप्रवासात( माझ्या किंवा कामानिमित्त माझ्या नवऱ्याच्या) विमान वेळेवर आलं - तर सगळं बरोबर आहे का ?असं वाटतं इतकी delayed flights  ची सवय झाली आहे. अतुल कुलकर्णी  फ्लाईटमधे असतील आणि ती delayed असेल, तर अशा वेळी कुठलं गाणं म्हणतील?

( कविता स्त्रीलिंगी लिहिलीय, कारण मूळ गाणं तसं आहे)

आज डिसेंबरची सकाळ, त्यात ६ डिसेंबर आज
धडधड काळजात माझ्या माईना
कदी कवा कुठं पोचू जीवं झाला यडापीसा
 ट्रॅफिकचा न्हाई भरवसा वेळ पाळंना
राखली की मर्जी बॉसची, फ्लाईट साठी आले
 या धावपळीने चिंब ओली मी झाले
 फ्लाईट निघेल कधी बरं, काळ येळ ठेवून तर
 मला पोचू द्या ना वेळेत, निघा ना…
फ्लाईटला जाऊ द्या ना त्वरित , आता वाजले की बारा.
फ्लाईटला जाऊ द्या ना त्वरित , आता वाजले की बारा
फ्लाईटला जाऊ द्या ना त्वरित , आता वाजले की बारा

कशा पाई वेळ काढता, गोल गोल फिरता
असं काय कर्ता,  हिला-
उडवा की लवकर ‌तरी
९ ची बी फ्लाईट गेली १० ची बी गेली
आता ११ ची  फ्लाईट निघाली
फ्लाईटला उडू द्या ना त्वरित, आता वाजले की बारा

आणि फ्लाईट सुरू झाली की ते काय म्हणतील ? ----" अप्सरा आली....." (विमान सुंदरीला बघून :))

-धनश्री
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Thursday, November 29, 2018

जुळल्या सगळया त्या आठवणी


सगळ्यांचे लाडके आणि दादरकरांचे भूषण अशा देवकाकांच्या स्मृतिप्रत्यार्थ २७ डिसेंबर रोजी "जुळल्या सगळया त्या आठवणी" हा कार्यक्रम दादरच्या स्वातंत्र्यवीर स्मारकामध्ये मध्ये संपन्न झाला . देव काकांची विविध प्रकारची गाणी या कार्यक्रमात सादर झाली. नुसती गाणीच नव्हे तर त्या गाण्यांशी निगडित आठवणी , किस्से, त्यांच्या शिष्यांचे अनुभव या सगळ्यामुळे ती मैफिल अजूनच रंगली .

देवकाका हे आपल्याला उत्तम संगीतकार म्हणून माहित आहेतच. त्याचबरोबर ते एक उत्तम कवी , शिक्षक आणि  माणूस कसे होते याची जाणीव या कार्यक्रमानंतर झाली.   

देव काकांचं शिक्षण विज्ञान शाखेत भौतिकशास्त्र आणि गणित या विषयात झालं. पण लहानपणापासूनच घरी संगीताचे संस्कार होत गेले. त्यांच्या घरी मोठमोठे गवय्ये यायचे. आकाशवाणीत नोकरीसाठी गेले असताना त्यांना विचारल गेलं - तुम्हांला काय येतं? तेव्हा त्यांनी पेटी वाजवता येते असं सांगितलं. तेव्हा आकाशवाणीत पेटीवर बंदी होती . शेवटी त्यांना विचारलं गेलं , तुम्हाला सतार वाजवता येते का? तेव्हा ते नोकरी मिळवण्यासाठी  सतार वाजवता येत नसूनही हो म्हणाले आणि  मग चक्क ७ दिवसात सतार शिकले.

देवकाका नागपूर आकाशवाणीत नोकरीला असतानाची गोष्ट. साधारण १९६८-१९७० चा सुमारास संगीतकर प्रभाकर जोग यांनी देवकाकांना मुंबईहून पत्राद्वारे स्वर  लिहून पाठवले. संगीतकाराने चाल लिहिली आणि मग त्यावर गाणं लिहिण्याचा हा देव काकांच्या आयुष्यातला पहिला योग .  म्हणूनच "स्वर आले दुरुनी , जुळ्या सगल्या त्या आठवणी"  हे अगदी त्या प्रसंगाला अनुसरून गाणं जन्माला आलं.

रवींद्र साठे नानासाहेबांबद्दल( ते  देवकाकांना  नानासाहेब म्हणत)   म्हणाले ,"नानासाहेबांकडे गेलं की  तुम्ही त्यांना काहीही विचारा, ते तुमचं ऐकून तुम्हांला मदत, मार्गदर्शन करणार. आता ते नाहीत, तर कोणाकडे जायचं हा  प्रश्न आहे"

रंजना जोगळेकर देवकाकांबद्दल बोलताना म्हणाल्या , गायकांना ते कसे योग्य मार्गदर्शन द्यायचे. त्या काळात रंजना ताईंचा आवाज काहीतरी वेगळाच झालेला, गाणी छान होत नव्हती.त्यामुळे त्यांचा आत्मविश्वास कमी होत गेला. तेव्हाच देवकाकांनी त्यांना फोन करुन , तुझ्यासाठी एक गाणं लिहिलयं  असं म्हणून बोलावून घेतलं. रंजन ताई तिकडे गेल्या आणि चक्क रडायला लागल्या, त्यांनी त्यांची समस्या सांगितली. देव काकांनी त्यांना एक गाणं लिहून दिलं आणि त्याचा रोज सराव करायला सांगितलं.त्याच बरोबर त्यांनी मी तुझ्यासाठी एक गाणं करुन ठेवणार आहे याबद्दल आश्वासन दिलं. देवकाकांना नंतर एक प्रोजेक्ट  मिळालं होतं- १२ महिन्यांसाठी बारा‌‌ गाणी बनवायची असं.त्यासंबद्धी त्यांनी प्रवीण दवणेंना एक गाणं लिहायला सांगितलं. काका म्हणले, "तू माघ महिन्यासाठी गाणं लिही" त्यावरून  "माघाची थंडी माघाची" हे अगदी ठसकेबाज गाणं निर्माण झालं जे रंजना ताईंनीच गायलंय.

देव काकांनी अगदी वेगवेगळ्या प्रकारची गाणी रचली,लिहिली. युगुल गीतं , विडंबन,समस्वरी, बोलगीतं  असं अनेक प्रकार. देवकाका ओशो रजनीश यांचे भक्त. ओशोंच्या शिकवण्यांवर त्यांनी हिंदी गाणीसुद्धा रचली.ते म्हणायचे-  प्रेक्षकाला संगीताचा स्वर ताल हे व्याकरण कळत नसतं. मात्र भाव नक्की कळतो. अशी भाव पोचवणारी सुरेल बोलगीतं  त्यांनी रचली. त्यातलाच एक बोलगीत म्हणजे - "सांग कसं जगायचं, कढत कढत की गाणं म्हणत, तुम्हीच ठरवायचं..." किती    सुरेख गाणं आहे हे." देवकाकांची काही मस्त विडंबन गीतं या कार्यक्रमात होती . त्यातलं एक विवाहित पुरुषाने म्हटलेले गीत अणि त्याला दिलेले बायकोने उत्तर ही दोन्ही इतके सुरेख होती की बस क्या बात हैं अस वाटयाला लागलं. " जवा हैं मोहोब्बत हसीना हैं जमाना" या गाण्याच्या चालीवर एक लाजवाब समस्वारी गीत सादर झालं जयमाला 'once more'  मिळालं.

बाकी कार्यक्रम अगदी उत्तमच झाला . दादर सांस्कृतिक मंचाचे त्याबद्दल आभार. उत्तरा मोनेंनी कार्यक्रमाचं सुरॆख निवेदन केलं. कार्यक्रम अगदी वेळेत सुरु झाला.स्टेज वर गायकांच्या मधोमध एक माईक आणि त्यासमोर देवकाकांची आवडती पेटी होती. जणू काय ते आपल्यातच आहेत.  कार्यक्रमाच्या प्रत्येक क्षणी "जीवनात ही घडी अशीच राहूदे " असं वाटत होतं.

-धनश्री जोगळेकर (शिरोडकर)
https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Friday, November 23, 2018

आपण करू ती फॅशन..

 साल २०१३ - माझ्या लग्नाआधीची खरेदी चालू होती . साड्या खरेदी करुन झाल्या होत्या . आता ब्लाऊज शिवायला टाकायचे होते . मला स्वतःला मोठया गळ्याचे   ब्लाऊज  घालायला आवडत नाहीत . लोकांना ते छान दिसतात पण मला ते छान  दिसत नाही असं मला वाटतं . त्यामुळे फॅशनच्या आहारी न जाता मी मला हवे तसे गळ्यांचे ब्लाऊज शिवून घेतले. ब्लाऊजच्या बाह्या मात्र फॅशनच्या आहारी जाऊन छोट्याच ठेवल्या. मला थोड्या  लांब बाह्यांचे ब्लाऊज बरे दिसतील असं माझ्या घरच्यांचं मत होतं. पण मी मात्र त्यावेळेच्या फॅशन प्रमाणे छोट्या बाह्यांचे ब्लाऊज शिवले.

साल २०१८- आता सोशल मीडियावर #deepveer गाजतंय. 
sabyasachi लुक वगैरे काय ते. आता  दीपिकाच्या रिसेप्शनचे लुक बघा ना . ऑफ- व्हाईट प्लेन लांब हाताचा बंद गळ्याचा ब्लाऊज. खर सांगायचं तर आजीबाई सारखा वाटतोय तो मला. आणि सोनेरी कांजीवरम वर हिरवा मोठा चोकर ...वरती चपट , अगदी तेल लावल्यावर होतात तसे केस....‌कदाचित ह्यातलं सौंदर्य किंवा फॅशन कळण्याइतकी मी तज्ज्ञ नाही. बघून जे वाटलं ते लिहिलं. मात्र यावरून आजीची आठवण झाली. आजी म्हणायची " आपण करू ती फॅशन"... कदाचित या #deepveer आणि  #virushka नंतर ही चपट केस आणि लांब बाह्या अगदी "in-thing in fashion"   असेल.

आता माझ्या छोट्या बाह्यांचे ब्लाऊज 'out of fashion" नाही झाले म्हणजे मिळवलं. पण मग तेव्हा 
आजी म्हणायची त्याप्रमाणे " आपण करू ती फॅशन"... म्हणायचं.

- धनश्री

Monday, November 19, 2018

The "cat coloured" eyes


"Oh she is Aishwarya", my gynaecologist said looking at my daughter's eyes. She was wondering at her distinctively grey coloured cat eyes. How come she got those colored eyes given neither me nor my husband have grey coloured eyes?Neither did our previous generation have cat coloured eyes. Google searches and discussions followed on how my daughter could have got those eyes. Apart from the fact that the Kokanastha Brahmin community ( that my husband belongs to) typically has cat colored eyes, there was no other connection we could see.

My doctor said that sometimes eye color changes after 2 years of age. So after 2 years of age, when my daughter's eye color remained the same , we were convinced that this is mostly her permanent eye color.

She is 3.5 years now but any new person that we still meet somehow notices her eyes. I remember meeting a foreigner in Bangalore who asked us how come my daughter has those eyes. She was sad about the fact that her kids don't have those eyes. Kids in my mum's building would ask " ye foreigner hain kya?" Foreigners have stopped by and asked "It is very unusual for Indians to have such eyes no." They are sometimes amazed by her Indian dressed up attire and cat colored eyes with brown hair.

When my daughter was born, I was actually scared by the way her cat coloured eyes sparkled in the night. That an eye colour would draw so much attention and curiosity seems different to me. It is topic I never thought I would have a conversation on , forget doing a Google search and researching on the same.

-Dhanashree

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Happy Children's Day..

"Dhanu, wake up" , my dad said this morning.. "it's already 5:45" he said

"Tea is ready and is getting cold" , said my mum urging me to wake up fast

"Have you packed all your stuff?" My aunt asked
"Keep everything together, else you might forget" she said

By then my second round of tea with chapati and bhakri was ready. The taste of which remains the same like the one I had as a kid.

Every single time , I go to my mum's place, I am still treated like a little girl.My favourite food, my favourite things are all ready for me even without asking.  I am sure every girl would be feeling the same way.

 If at all the child in me is alive, it is due to my family who is always taking care of me.  They still discuss books and new happenings with me with the same enthusiasm that they did 10 years ago.Always willing to learn and share:)

 Feeling like a child is not growing or looking younger. It is about being feeling younger and protected, for me it is due to amazing elders who do this for me every single time. Taking care of the minutest detail I may miss...

Due to them, it's a wonderful start of a Children's day for me!

#HappyChildrensDay
#ChildrensDay

My last year's poem on children's Day here - https://dsaidso.blogspot.com/2017/11/childrens-day.html?m=1
-Dhanashree
https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Children's Day Special...

Year - 2004

Me (18 year old adult)- When can I get a mobile?

My Mom- We will get it on your birthday next year

Me (excited ) - Ok

~Conversation ends~

Year-2018

My daughter S (3.5 year old toddler)-- Mum, why can't I take the mobile to school?

Me( with a shocked look)-- Because you are small.But why do you want to take it anyways?

S - ( with her smile) -- coz I want to call, I want to talk to you.

Me-Oh, you want to talk? I can call you na

S-- ( whispering with a smile) -- I want to watch YouTube videos on mobile in school
Me( angrily) -- Why?

S-- Because I want to...I want to take the mobile to school now

~Conversation continues with me telling about no YouTube over and over again~

#ChildrensDaySpecial
#yeh_aajkal_ke_bachche
#yehi_dekhna_baaki_reh_gaya
#justanothermumstory
#yetanothermumstory

-Dhanashree

Monday, November 12, 2018

The 'bold kids' of today


Scene 1-
We were doing our Diwali ritual. Lighting a few sparkles, a few Anar and that's it. Our daughter is just 3.5 years old so we did some bare minimum  Diwali fireworks thing. As we were doing this,  a couple of 8-10 year old kids came to us asking if they could light our Anar. We had a special anar which stayed lit for longer and had a much better speed of going up. I gave one of them to those kids. Then a few more kids joined asking us for the same. I told them that first let my daughter enjoy and then they could take the fireworks they wanted. Then a few more kids came and asked if they could take our sparkles. One kid started this thing and then 4 others joined and directly took our  sparkles.Their parents who were around did nothing to stop the kids from taking our stuff. Despite us saying a clear NO, the kids were boldly taking our stuff. Neither did they understand when to stop nor did their parents who were around did anything to stop this. The kids were all atleast 8 years old. Is 8 years so small a 'kid' age where kids don't understand how to behave?

Scene 2-
A typical kids birthday party scene. So the birthday boy is all set to cut the cake. He is surrounded by his parents and grandparents typically. All the remaining space around the cake cutting is taken by the birthday boy's/girl's friends. They can range from any age group like 1 year to 10 years. In most of these parties the kids around seem to be so much in a hurry to eat the cake that they would do so ( lick the cake, take the cake toppings) even before the birthday boy/girl has cut the cake. I understand that very small kids wouldn't understand how to behave. How about the slightly elder kids? Have they never eaten a cake in their life to be so greedy about it? Can't they behave properly?

Scene 3-
Some groups of kids come to your house. They are your son's/daughter's friends. It's their first time in your house. The ease with which they take out all the toys , things in the showcase from your house is amazing. Trying stopping them and see if they pay heed to your talk. More often than not, they won't. As a kid, I remember when I used to go to someone else's place, my mum's rule was " Not to take anything without asking" . Nowadays the unsaid rule seems " We don't care, we will take anything we want , won't  even bother to ask"

So...

In the examples given above, the kids come across as "bold" kids. Does bold mean doing whatever you want without bothering about others? Does bold mean " meri marzi"?  For me boldness means toughness in facing a situation. If the kids today are doing what they want , essentially changing the situation as per their needs , how will they face real challenges in life? How will they learn to be accommodating and empathetic in daily life?
I , sadly, wonder!

-Dhanashree
https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Sunday, November 11, 2018

दिवाळी , फराळ‌ आणि त्याचं दडपण



(Inspired by an earlier post by Mrinmayee Ranade-also shared on my wall earlier)

चला आता दिवाळी संपली. दिवाळीत बायकांना फराळ करण्याचं‌ दडपण असत असं वाचण्यात आलं. तर हे  दडपण का असावं? फेसबुक , social media वर बायका फराळाचे फोटॊ share करताना दिसतात. त्यामुळे हे दडपण येत असावं  का ? घरातून घरचाच फराळ हवा अशी मागणी होत असेल का ?
त्यामुळे हे दडपण येत असावं  का ?
बघूया...

आपण आपल्या आईला घरी सांग्रसंगीत फराळ करताना बघितलेलं असतं . कधीकधी अगदी नोकरी मुलं बाळं संभाळून हे सगळं तिने केलेलं असतं . मग त्यामुळे आपल्या मनांत आपल्याला आईसारखं करता आलं पाहिजे अशी‌ इच्छा असते. ती कितपत चूक कि बरोबर याचा विचार करायला हवा. मागे मृण्मयी रानडे म्हणाल्याप्रमाणे , काळानुसार भरपूर बदल झाले आहेत . त्यामुळे दोन पिढ्यात होणार्या गोष्टींची तंतोतंत तुलना नाही होऊ शकत.

दुसरं दडपण फेसबुकवरील फोटोंमुळे येऊ शकतं . अमुक एक कोणातरी कसं सगळ करतेय आणि आपण कसं काहीच नाही करत असं वाटू शकतं. तर फेसबुक वरील दाखवायचे दात आणि घरात खायचे दात वेगळे असतात हे न कळण्याइतके आपण दुधखुळे नक्कीच नाही आहोत . तो फराळ पोस्ट टाकणाऱ्या बाईने केलेला असतो की मदतनीसांकडून करवून घेतलेला असतो हे कसं सांगणार ? आणि अगदी स्वतः केला असेल तर बाकीचे जेवण केले का नुसता फराळ बनवायचा म्हणून जेवण बाहेरुन मागवले?

आणि अगदी सगळा फराळ स्वतः केला असेल तर स्वतःच्या घरच्यांसाठी केला . कोणावर त्याचे उपकार नाहीत. ते करतात म्हणून त्याचं दडपण आपल्यावर  नकॊ. प्रत्येकाची परिस्तिथी वेगळी. आणि  त्यामुळे आपल्या सोयीनुसार प्रत्येकजण करतं.
कित्येक बायका लोकांना दिसायला पाहिजे म्हणून मुद्दामून दिवाळीच्या  वेळी फराळ करतात . नाहीतर वर्षाचे बाकीचे महिने साधा स्वयंपाक करतील का याचा प्रश्न पडतो .हे  मी  माझ्या स्वतः  बघितलेल्या अनुभवावरून सांगते.

जेवण केलं असो व नसो , पण ते वाढण्यात पुढे पुढे करणाऱ्यांची संख्या कमी नाही. आता त्या गोष्टींचं किचनमध्ये मधे रांधणाऱ्या बायकांनी दडपण घ्यावं का?

सांगण्याचा मुद्दा हाच की , फराळ घरी केला म्हणजे आपण सुग्रणपणाची परीक्षा पास झालो असं काही नाही . आपल्या घरच्यांसाठी आपण रोज पौष्टिक अणि घरच अन्न करणं महत्वाचं . मग ते स्वतः करा नाहीतर मदतनीसांकडून करुन घ्या.

आपल्या आईकडून प्रेरणा घेऊन, फेसबुक फराळ फोटोस वरुन प्रेरणा घेऊन फराळ केला तर उत्तमच. पण तो नाही करता आला तर त्याचं दडपण नकॊ. कारण आपली सोय महत्वाची.
आणि हे नुसतं दिवाळी फराळाच्या बाबतीत लागू नाही.  अनेक रीती-भाती निभावताना आपली सोय महत्त्वाची.

-धनश्री जोगळेकर
https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Friday, October 26, 2018

The Doctor Conversations


This was about few months ago. My daughter was having cough cold fever. We did the usual- visited the paediatrician, took medicines , and in 2-3 days again the sneezing and cough was recurring.  This continued even once more. I understand that with a 2.5 year old kid all this is seasonal. But understanding this fact and dealing when this happens to your own child are entirely two different things. We decided to consult another paediatrician. He is very renowned one and very experienced in his field, and he also happened to be the father of my gynaecologist. I went there and narrated all what my daughter was suffering from. As I narrated all this, I was in tears. I was not able to see my daughter constantly suffering from cold and was crying at my utter helplessness at improving her situation. Maybe a cold is nothing major. But to see your 2.5 year old coughing, her eyes watering and sneezing for days together was major for me. Still in tears, I asked the doctor was I doing anything wrong. Am I taking good enough care of my daughter?He first calmed me down. He told me there is nothing to worry. Sometimes colds do take long to recover. The tone of his voice was so reassuring that it is impossible to explain in words. He addressed all my concerns even before I could ask them to him. He told me to go home and not worry.

A few weeks back my daughter was sick just 3 days before her annual day. All of a sudden she developed cough and fever. I went to the same doctor and told him that it's best if she gets well before her annual day. I was a bit concerned about this sudden fever this time. Again , in his reassuring tone he assured me that she will be all well and be able to attend her annual day.

Maybe all doctors do tell their patients that they will get well. But there is something different about some doctors, that they are able to understand your concerns and empathetically address them. That you can have a conversation at ease with them. That they don't show an eyebrow when you ask some questions.

I experienced this many times.  Truly empathetic doctors do make a great difference to the patient. When my daughter was born 3.5 years ago, my doctor would visit me post the delivery and every single time she would  help me breastfeed my daughter. I had no such problems feeding. But in the first 2 days, my daughter was sleeping so much that it was necessary to wake her up so that she gets fed. My doctor would do this when she came for her visit. She would instruct the nurses to help me breastfeed and had her full attention on me as her patient.

A good diagnosis definitely makes a good doctor. But in this age where a patient is reduced to a series of medical reports, doctors that try to understand the patient as a human is a valuable breed. To understand a patient, to go into his shoes and see what he might be going through and patiently explaining that is a skill. It is a skill that for me makes such a person a best doctor.

-Dhanashree

Saturday, October 20, 2018

The 'Date' morning


Just the two of us together on a date is something that does not happen quite often now. In fact it's a rarity. Thanks to our creation, who  says "Tumhi tithe mi" and always accompanies us where we go.

But today was different. It was just the two of us. After long I must say.

I was a bit anxious, nervous what will follow next. My husband was calm and cheerful as always.

We reached the venue . There were mostly couples around, some ladies with friends and some men too. Some couples with kids. The kids were surprisingly calm.
We chatted , and in that missed our little S's chatter.

After we finished our work at the venue, we went to have our favourite filter coffee. There too we could spot similar faces after their respective Date's.
Finally after the long due 'Date' , we left for home.

P.S. the venue mentioned is nothing but a classroom for a parent teacher meeting , and maybe that's the only time our little one excuses us to go on a date :)

#justanothermumstory
#yetanothetmumstory
#PTADate
#meetingdate

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

The special place


There is something special about this place
What is that is impossible to explain

The place which always treats me like a princess
And understands my emotions even if they are unsaid

The place where I don't get judged
And there is full acceptance of my true self

This is the  place where I grew up
From learning ABC to becoming finally what I am today

The place which is full of people who will always support me
And will stand by me even during my tough times

The place where there is selfless love
And where I am known as my Mum's daughter even now

That place is my Mum's place for me
The place where I am most understood till date

P.S.-
There is no place like mum's place for a girl.  Even the fanciest hotel or holiday doesn't match the feeling of staying in your  'maika'

-Dhanashree

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

एवढी मोठी झालीस तू धनू ?

मनीषा कोरडे लिहीतात, (http://www.esakal.com/saptarang/manisha-korde-write-navratri-article-saptarang-148206 )
"नवरात्र म्हणजे स्त्रीला स्वतःची जाणीव होण्याचाही जागरच. त्यासाठी खेळू हे नऊ खेळ. स्वतःलाच स्वतःची ओळख करून देऊ आणि आपल्यामधल्या शक्तींचीही ओळख करून घेऊ..

१ला खेळ-
1. लहानपणीचा स्वतःचा एखादा फोटो उकरून काढावा आणि ती जी लहान मुलगी आहे, तिच्याकडं माया-ममतेनं बघावं. त्या अजाण अबोध दिवसांपासून ते आजवरच्या तिच्या प्रवासाचं कौतुक करावं. याचा अर्थ खूप जुन्या गोष्टी आठवत बसायच्या, असा नाही, तर त्या फोटोकडं बघून किंवा फोटो नसेल, तर मनात प्रतिमा आणून "छान, मस्त मोठी झालीस गं तू, पूर्वी काही कळायचं नाही तुला, आज किती शहाणी झालीस,' एवढंच म्हणायचं आहे. भूतकाळातल्या भूतांना शितं घालायची नाहीत ("मला यानं मारलं', "कमी मार्क मिळाले' असं डिटेलिंग करत बसायचं नाही). ज्या अस्तिक आहेत, त्यांनी त्या आपल्या छोटेपणातल्या मुलीला आशीर्वाद दिले तरी चालतील. ज्या नास्तिक आहेत त्यांनी त्या छोट्या लेकराचं कौतुक केलं तरी पुरे!

मुद्दा काय आहे? मुद्दा स्वतःत डोकावण्याचा आहे. ते होतंय का? या निमित्तानं ही जी एक जागा तयार होते आहे स्त्रियांसाठी- ती अनमोल आहे- तिचा पूरेपूर वापर आपण करतोय की नाही, हे बघणं महत्त्वाचं!
नऊ दिवसांचे नऊ नवे खेळ मी तुम्हाला सुचवणार आहे. आपण हे करून बघूयात का? मी तरी करणार आहे. तुम्ही ते केलंत, तर मजा येईल. "

या खेळानिमित्त मी माझ्या लहानपणीच्या आठवणी third person मधे लिहिल्या आहेत . लिहिण्यासारखं खूप आहे , पण आता थोडक्यातच संपवलंय.

एवढी मोठी झालीस तू धनू ?

अगं ,ती फोटोतली छोटी धनू ती तूच का ? दिवस कसे फटाफट जातात नाही ? तू एवढी मोठी  झालीस यावर  विश्वासच बसत नाही आहे माझा . लहान असताना तुला नटायची किती आवड होती . आणि हो , अभ्यासू आणि हुशार तर तू पहिल्यापासूनच होतीस .त्यामुळे जेव्हा तुला VJTI  प्रवेश मिळाला , तेव्हा मला अजिबात नवल वाटलं नाही . घरच्यांचं उत्तम मार्गदर्शन, तुझी मेहनत आणि हुशारी सगळ्याचं जणू काही ते फळ होत.

तुला आठवतं का पहिल्या प्रयत्नात तुला IIM मिळालं नव्हतं तेव्हा तू किती निराश झाली होतीस ? नंतर शिक्षकांच्या , आईवडिलांच्या समजावण्याने तू परत जोमानं तयारी केलीस. "आपण कर्म करत राहावे , फळाची  अपेक्षा करु नये" , ही विचारधारा मनाशी बाळगून तू खऱ्या अर्थानं प्रयत्न केलास. तुला त्या वर्षी यश मिळालच . IIM हॉस्टेलमध्ये एकटी कशी राहशील याचीसुद्धा तुला धाकधूक होतीच. पण तेही तू पार पाडलस की . Placement, CGPA या चक्रातून बाहेर पडलीस.

तुला लग्न होईपर्यंत कुठं काही फारसा स्वयंपाक येत होता? लग्नानंतर मात्र तू करत गेलीस आणि तुला सगळं जमत गेलं . अर्थात सुरुवातीचा काळ  कठीण होताच. सुरुवात वरण भात बनवण्यापासून केलीस आणि आता चक्क सगळा स्वयंपाक तू करु शकतेस. तू कोणावरही त्याबाबतीत अवलंबून नाहीस.

 स्वरा झाल्यवर तिचा बंगलोरला सांभाळ कसा होईल यांची काळजी होतीच न गं तुला. त्यावेळेलाही‌ तुझ्यामागे  आपली माणसं खंबीरपणे उभे राहिले आणि तुझी काळजी मिटली. 

आतापर्यंतच्या वाटचालीत अनेक कठीण प्रसंग आले .त्यांना तू किती समर्थपणे तोंड दिलंस की नाही ?

आजीचे संस्कार पाळत गेलीस , प्रमाणिकपणे वेळच्यावेळी आणि मन लावून काम केलंस. बऱ्याचदा यश आलं, काहीवेळा अपयशही आलं. तू मात्र तुझे प्रयत्न चालू ठेवलेस.  या वाटचालीत साथ देणारी छान माणसं तुला भेटली.

कधीतरी असाच आपलं लहानपणीचा फोटो बघत जा, काय काय केलंस याचा आढावा घे . बघ कसं मस्त वाटेल तुला. अशीच मोठी हो, माझे आशिर्वाद तुझ्यासोबत कायम आहेत .

-धनश्री

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

स्वरा_करे_तो_क्या_करे

एखादा विषय कठीण  असतो . त्या   विषयाचा पेपर  कठीण येणार असा आपला अनुभव सांगतो. म्हणजे अशा पेपर मध्ये आपल्याला पास होण्यापुरते मार्क मिळाले तरी खूप असं आपल्याला वाटतं .मग अखेर तो दिवस येतोच-  परीक्षा सुरु होतात आणि हा हा म्हणता त्या पेपरचा दिवस उजाडतो. आपल्याला एका मागो माग एक ,पेपरातले  सगळे प्रश्न सोडवता येतात. आपण स्वप्नात आहोत  की काय असा आपल्याला सारखा प्रश्न पडतो . परत तोच  प्रश्न वाचून त्यात काही अजून "trick question" नसेल ना ह्याचा विचार करतो .तोवर पपेरची वेळ संपलेली असते आणि आपल्याला " पेपर सोपा होता ह्याचा  आनंद कि पेपर एवढा सोपा कसा असू शकतो" ह्याचा विचार करावा हेच कळत नाही .

आज अगदी असंच काहीतरी घडलं . तसं म्हणाल तर माझी लेक तिच्या बोलण्यामुळे, इकडे तिकडे पळण्याच्या कलेमुळे मला सार्वजनिक ठिकाणी, रेस्टॉरंट्स मधे बरीच प्रसिद्धी मिळवून देते. कधीकधी तर " हे मूल कुणाचं " इथपर्यंत मला प्रसिध्दी मिळाली आहे .

आज रेस्टॉरंट मध्ये पहिली १५ मिनिटं झाली तरी लेक फक्त एक ठिकाणी बसून होती . चमच्याशी खेळणं नाही, ईकडे तिकडे धावणं नाही , शांत म्हणजे शांत. मग मलाच राहवेना.म्हटलं," स्वरा बरी आहेस ना ?" तेव्हा तिचं फक्त स्मितहास्य आणि "हो " हे उत्तर. मग ३० मिनिटं उलटली , तरी ती शांत. मांडीवर घे असे  छोटे हट्ट सुरु झाले होतें , पण फारसं काही नाही .
आता मात्र पपेर ची 'बेल' झाली म्हणजे ,'बिल ' घेऊन वेटर आला .

 निघता निघता " स्वरा शांत होती ह्याचा  आनंद कि स्वरा शांत का होती " ह्याचा विचार करावा हेच कळत नव्हतं. 

#स्वरा_किती_मस्ती_करतेस
#स्वरा_किती_शांत_आहेस
#स्वरा_करे_तो_क्या_करे

-Dhanashree
https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Friday, October 5, 2018

World Smile Day

I have been undergoing root canal treatment since the last 10 days..I defer my visits to the dentist as much as possible. I mean who likes going to the dentist anyways?  But what needs to be done , needs to be done anyways. So , very hesitantly and scared to  show my tooth, I anyways showed up at the dentist's. And thus began  as what they are called my dental sittings.  The time period from when I enter the dentist's clinic till the treatment gets done seems like eternity to me. I try to pass off the waiting time by reading mostly. But the very thought of sitting on the dental chair in the next 30 mins stresses me off so much that I wish it would pass off soonest.
So the other day, I met an acquaintance at the clinic. The first thing she told me was that she likes my writings and looks forward to reading my posts. Then she told me what she had liked in my blog. Some of those things were a year old. Still she remembered and mentioned them.
We were discussing and by that time it was my turn for my treatment. Time had passed off really fast. Small things like this really make me smile and make my day.
 Forever in gratitude for well wishers like this.

#WorldSmileDay #dsaidso

-Dhanashree
My earlier poem on Dentist's here

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

कोण कोणाची आई

प्रसंग १
लेकीला माझ्या बहिणीने गुजरातहून चनिया चोळी आणली. मी लेकीला मस्करीने विचारलं ," स्वरा मी अशी चनिया चोली आणू का ?"
ती म्हणाली नको.
मी का नको असं विचारल्यावर, डोळे मोठे करुन, थोडा आवाज उंचावून लेक म्हणाली "मी सांगते ते ऐक , का म्हणून विचारू नकोस"

प्रसंग २ -
"मी हिला सांगितलं , नख काप, वाढली आहेत नखं तुझी, ऐकतच नाही माझं "
हे वाक्य माझी लेक मला म्हणाली.

आजच्यापुरते लेकीकडून झालेलें अपमान बस. :)
कोण कोणाची आई हा मला हल्ली  नेहमीच पडलेला
 प्रश्न आहे .

#लेकमाझीशिक्षक

-धनश्री

Monday, October 1, 2018

Habit


You drink tea in a mug daily. Cups and saucers are passé now. Mugs are the in things in every household. You claim to need no saucer to cool your tea.
Then you go to a restaurant. Tea with cup and saucer is served. You instantly take the cup at an angle and pour the tea in the saucer. Your mind frantically searches for Parle G biscuit. But oh, you are in a restaurant. No biscuit there.So you gulp down the tea in the saucer instantly. You do this tea in the saucer thing again. Your group has noticed the old fashioned  thing you just did and made faces about the same. You give them "Kaun dekh Raha hai yaar" and finish the rest of the tea in the same way.
#old_habits_die_hard
#just_indian_things
#we_are_like_that_only
#dsaidso
-Dhanashree

Thursday, September 27, 2018

The travel called life


She travelled. She travelled through adversities and challenges. She raised her five children in challenging financial conditions. First 60 years of her life, she lived in a small taluka in Konkan region. Then she travelled again. She travelled to the city of dreams to let her children fulfill their dreams. She travelled from using a stove to a gas. She travelled from a standalone house in our native to a one room with a common toilet in Mumbai. She raised her grandchildren in Mumbai. She longed to travel to native sometimes. But she held back because her children and  grandchildren needed her.
 She was busy. She didn't click any pictures of her travel..Because they were too many to be clicked..What would she click?
-That she travelled with us every single day as we went through our routine
-That she travelled through our lunch times, tea times and what not
-That she made us and taught us the importance of eating healthy food and lots of veggies
-That she travelled only at home so that my mom could peacefully work without worrying about us
-That she travelled and while this travel didn't care about what challenges lie ahead
- That she made us realise importance of studies and hardworking
-That she taught us nothing is impossible

This list is endless...
She was not a part of senior citizens group. She did no job  post retirement. She didn't visit 'n' countries . She did not venture out of my state.
All she did is she travelled with us. Through our childhood till college. She raised us every single day. She was so busy in this travel that she did even tell anyone how much she did.
You know what, she is my dear 'aaji'. My grandma...
She passed away long ago in 2006... But there is not a day when I don't miss her. She passed on her values to her children and they did the same for me. Travel when I needed them for me.
On the occasion of #WorldTourismDay, heres my salute to all aajis, aai,baba mavshis, and atyas who travelled with their family as they moved on in a journey called life. They didn't tick checklists , bucket lists. All they did is travel- travel not only in good but also in tough times .

#travel #life #WorldTourismDay
-Dhanashree
https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Sunday, September 23, 2018

वडाळा GSB गणपती


"पोवळ्याची माळ आणि हिऱ्याची कुडी असणाऱ्या बायकांनाच  प्रवेश" असं लिहिलं तरी चालेल वडाळा GSB गणपती मंडळाने. मी जन्माने GSB , म्हणजेच माहेरची GSB . GSB लोकांचे मुंबईतले दोन मोठे गणपती म्हणजे वडाळा आणि किंग्जसर्कल . वडाळा GSB माझ्या घरापासून अगदी ५ मिनिटांच्या अंतरावर. कामाच्या व्यापामुळे इतका बाजूला असूनही मी तो गणपती  काल म्हणजे चक्क दहाव्या दिवशी बघायला गेले. सिल्कच्या साड्या , अगदी बाजू -बाजूला  असलेल्या मोठ्या पोवळ्यांची माळ, हिऱ्याची कुडी ही तिकडे येणाऱ्या बायकांची वैशिट्ये . पंजाबी ड्रेस मधे किंवा जीन्स मधे येणाऱ्या बायका अगदी हातावर मोजण्यासारख्या असतात. आपण पोवळ नाही घातलं तर अगदी out of place वाटेल म्हणून मी सुद्धा माझी अगदी  बारीक पोवळ्यांची माळ आणि हिऱ्याची कुडी घालून गेले होते . म्हणजे पापलेट नाही तर मांदेली तरी आहे  मासे म्हणून म्हणायला तसंच कांहीतरी . काल गणपती बघयला खुप गर्दी नव्हती . प्रवेश केल्यापासून दर्शन घेऊन बाहेर पडेपर्यंत अर्धा तास सुद्धा लागला नाही . जातांना नैवेद्याचा १०० रुपयांचं ताट घेतलं. नारळ, केळी , फुलं असं त्या ताटात होत. ते ताट घेउन गणपती दर्शनाला गेलो. सोन्याने मढलेला गणपती हे त्याचं  वैशिट्य .‌गणपती अगदी सुंदर दिसत होता. वातावरण फार प्रसन्न होत. दर्शन झाल्यावर प्रसादाचं ताट घेउन आम्ही बाहेर पडलो. बाहेर पडताक्षणी तो ताटातला प्रसाद कापडी पिशवीत घालुन आम्हाला देण्यात आला .मग आम्ही कॅन्टीन मध्ये गेलो. तिकडे कटलेट, केळा भजी , कचोरी असे वेगवेगळे पदार्थ मिळतात. पदार्थ अगदी गरमागरम आणि चविष्ट असतात . रोज जेवणाचा प्रसाद असतो...मी अजून प्रसादाचं जेवण जेवलेले नाही पण तो स्वयंपाक इतक्या मोठ्या प्रमाणात होतो ह्याचा प्रत्यय तिकडे चिरताना बसलेल्या लोकांकडे बघून येतो ..भरपूर मोठे टोप भरलेले अळू, असंख्य नारळ असं चिरताना आचारी दिसतात. गजरे , हार बनवताना बायका दिसतात. खऱ्या अर्थाने भक्त देवाची सेवा करताना दिसतात. कोण मोठं नाही कोण छोटा नाही , सगळे फक्त भक्त.  हे बघितल्यावर खुप छान वाटतं .
गणपती बाप्पा मोरया!

-dhanashree
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Friday, September 21, 2018

"Me " time?


We decided it was long since we went on a date. The husband and I were longing for some couple only time and made a plan last night for a dinner date. I convinced my daughter 'S' that I will have to go out with her Dad for some work. I also convinced myself that I need to have these 'me' times for myself as well the relationship with my husband.
Then 'S' cried as usual. She wanted to go out with us. After a lot of convincing she agreed to stay back. So now we were all set for our date. Physically fatigued after a long day but mentally enthusiastic, I dressed up and the husband and I went to our favourite restaurant. We discussed our old times, the college days, the CAT prep, the MBA times and what not. We discussed how my husband asked me out and the times after that. In all this romantic mood there was an antenna in my mind thinking about little 'S' and what she must be doing.
Once we got done with food, we just walked around the place. We could see couples, families around. Kids running around and parents trying to run behind them. Whenever I saw kids , all I felt was I missed my daughter even more. Here I was on a dinner date with my husband which was long due, possibly trying to have my 'me' time, but the mother in me could not switch off. All she thought of was "What is S doing?". All she felt was she missed her.
Times like this make me realise that once you are a mother, having 'me' time also can feel like a burden. As much as you want the 'me' time, you also want to be with your little one. Thats why probably once a child is born, your most known identity is as the mother of your child.
Whether you are working or stay at home, once you have a child, one part of you always thinks of her. Hence there will never be an easy answer to - To "me time" or not to "me time"?
Because I am and will always be my daughter's mum indeed! (http://dsaidso.blogspot.com/2017/11/i-am-my-daughters-mum.html?m=1 )

-Dhanashree

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Mummy Express


Holding  her sack in the front, she was all ready. She had just managed to reach at the right time..One minute delay in reaching there would have meant a 15 minutes delay in picking her daughter from the crèche . The next step was to find some space for herself that would let her breathe. She had years of experience doing this. Finally she found her space. Around her  someone was knitting, someone reading, someone video calling , someone chit chatting..The group comprised to teenagers to women in their 50s. All running by the clock.. Some girls having their Tiffin while others sleeping. Women gossiping about their favourite topics:)While she was thinking about dinner to be made and what help her daughter  needs in her homework. Finally her stop arrived. She made her way out of the local train and thought of her next stop-the crèche. In between there were groceries to be bought. Work never seemed to end. That is what life was for her.. like a local train- the one which runs all day with hardly any sleep . The one which is called the lifeline but is searching for time to find her own lifeline .
#the_lifeline_of_mumbai
#mumbai_local
#local_train
#mummy_express
#dsaidso

-Dhanashree
https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Jab I met Shahrukh Khan


"Is it really true?" I thought. "Am I really meeting SRK?" But yes it was true. I got to meet SRK and witness the shoot of BYJUs latest ad thanks to my husband. SRK was literally not even 100 metres away from me during the shooting. But given the rules and the silence that is to be maintained, we were not allowed to meet him during the shooting. We could just watch from a distance. I spent almost 8 hours at the recording studio. Of which watching Shahrukh was hardly for a few hrs. Rest of the time being spent in SRK getting ready and makeup for the various looks. Even in that little time, SRK was a true entertainer. Watching a take and retake of the same ad multiple times was enjoyable only due to Shahrukh.
Finally the moment came.  As Gauri Shinde announced "Pack up", SRK proceeded to move out. The people around (mostly from BYJUs) who were watching him from a distance thronged him. People had got DDLJ posters to get his autograph and all. His bodyguards tried to keep people away as they circled around him. I had a notebook in my hand which contained a collection of my poems in 3 languages written for him. The bodyguards thought I was taking his autograph and wanted to drive me away. I just managed a minute to talk to him and told him this is my gift of multilingual poems for him. He opened the notebook, saw my name there and asked "Dhanashree, can I take this?" I still find this absolutely unbelievable. I didn't tell him my name, he opened the notebook while his bodyguards shooed me away, and thanked me. And just in that moment, my husband managed to click a pic. I did not have the time to buy a fancy greeting card, or a fancy notebook, all I had is good content in my usual notebook. That I could give it to SRK and receive his thanks is something I will remember for a lifetime. The collection of my poems for SRK is as follows -

मन्नत

एक मन्नत मांगी थी खुदा से मैने
कभी मन्नत में रेहनेवाले बादशाह से मिला हमें

कहा खुदा ने थोडा सब्र करो
परदेस के मॅडम tussads वाले बादशहा से पहले मिलो

एक wax statue को बस हम देख सकते हैं
SRK बनने  का फॉर्म्युला थोडी पूछ सकते हैं

'कभी ख़ुशी कभी गम ' मे वक्त निकल गया
' चलते चलते ' एक 'चमत्कार ' हो  गया

बडे बडे शहरो  मे छोटी छोटी बाते होती हैं
 और कभी छोटे छोटे लोगों की बडी बडी ख्वाईशें पूरी होती हैं
हम एक बार जीते हैं एक बार मरते हैं और एक बार King Khan से मिलने  की तमन्ना रखते  हैं

बॉलीवूड के बादशाह से मिलने का मौका आया
एक दिन हम उनसे मिल पायेंगे
ये मैने  सोचा न था
मैने सोचा न था

Leadership
To imagine, To dream, To believe
To change ways and embrace the new
To be unafraid and not fear failure
To be passionate about goals, far and near

To inspire the team to move ahead
And be welcoming and inclusive of ideas that come ahead
Having the diligence to execute
And striking a balance between delegation and 'know it all' attitude

To have a plan to achieve the team goals
And yet accept the uncertainties that come in due course
Let the goals not be limiting
But be the milestones to achieve higher

This is what Leadership is all about
As per IIMBUEspeech by SRK , " naam toh suna hi Hoga"

[This poem is based on Shahrukh khan's speech at IIMBUE, the IIMB leadership summit]

Life Lessons

If you want to do something, do it really well
Put in your full effort, do with full JOSH, SRK tells

Maybe put in a bit of madness to your efforts
Taking your aberrations along, be a 'Deewana' of reaching your destination

Maybe  you may fail,sometimes life may be bad
Have faith, have hope
Continue your efforts, you will get the 'Chamatkaar' results in due course

Let 'fear' not intimidate you
Let 'failures' not deter you
The real 'Baazigar' wins even after failures
Chooses not to be held back by his 'Darr' here

It's ok to be confused
It's ok to be worried
"Kabhi Haa, Kabhi Na"
Let life move at its own pace

In all this, be kind, try helping others
Do everything 'Dil Se' spread love to others

Take happiness and sadness in its ephemeral spirit
Live in the present, because you know 'Kal Ho Naa Ho'

Everything will eventually be ok in the end
If it's not ok, it's not the end
Because ' Picture abhi baaki hain doston'

[ Above poem based on Shahrukh Khan's speech at University of Edinburgh]



From your 'Fan'

I thought it was a 'Chamatkaar'
Am I really meeting 'King Khan'?

The 'Deewana' we grew up seeing
Or the 'Baazigar' we watched as kids

The epitome of acting excellence
The Badshaah of Bollywood

Who spans across generations
From 'Ye kaali kaali aankhen' to 'Lungi Dance' hereto

Absolutely thrilled to meet you
My name is Dhanashree, and I am your 'Fan,'
Bas Aapne naam Nahi suna Hoga..


कोण आहे शाहरुख?

कोण आहे शाहरुख, लेकीने मला विचारलं
तो लुंगी डान्स करतो तोच काय गं , तिने खात्री करु घेतलं

 तो  टी . व्ही . वर पिक्चर मध्ये कसा येतो ? हा तिचा पुढचा प्रश्न
त्याचं ऑफिस तेच का , हे तिचं न संपणारं विचारणं

३ वर्षाच्या लेकीला अजून काय सांगावं
' किंग खान ' किंवा 'बादशाह' म्हणजे काय , हे तिला कस उमगाव

शाहरुख म्हणजे खूप अभ्यासू विद्यार्थी
acting आणि   dance यांचा सतत अभ्यास करणारा निश्चयी आणि मेहनती विद्यार्थी

प्रत्येक चित्रपटात त्याचा जोमाने परफॉर्मन्स देणं
प्रेक्षकांना आनंदी करणं हाच त्याचा एकाची धर्म

हसत खेळत जगावे, हाच त्याचा मंत्र
"जिंदगी नफरत के लिये बहुत कम  होती हैं ", हाच त्याचा कानमंत्र

शाहरुख म्हणजे  शाहरुख म्हणजे शाहरुख आहे
त्याच्या कर्तृत्वामुळे तो बॉलीवूडचा सुपरस्टार आहे

-Dhanashree Joglekar
https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Lehman Day

#LehmanDay

This day , that time, 10 years ago to be precise.
15th September 2008- The day when Lehman Brothers ( the first firm I ever worked for) went bankrupt
Still remember---
How the week preceding that we had meetings convincing us that "All izz well" and things would work out
How we saw the downward spiral of the Lehman stock- from 17 dollars(1 week prior) to 4 dollars to bankrupt...
How we searched subprime mortgage crisis and CDOs and tried to make sense of what that all meant
How on the morning of 15th September the words Lehman and Bankruptcy flashed together as headlines
How  we entered office wondering if our swipes would work
How while waiting for a scheduled training, we tried to make sense of Chapter 11 bankruptcy and its impact on our jobs
Still find this totally unbelievable.....

But as time moves on ,so does life.
Ten years and now into my 4th job post engg, all I know is time changes a lot of things.10 years ago, I didn't know how my career would look like post bankruptcy, didn't know what it meant actually. But 10 years is a lot of time for things to take shape and some times all you need is just time.

Sometimes or maybe most of the times it just helps to wait , work and watch!

My previous post on Lehman here -http://dsaidso.blogspot.com/2018/06/10-years-since-lehman.html?m=1

-dhanashree

Friday, September 14, 2018

The 'Divine Interventions'


During the Ganapati celebrations in our
 house, we have some activity in the night. The theme for this time was "Tell us one incident where you experienced divine intervention"
Does God exist? I don't know. All I know is that I find comfort in knowing that there is someone over us , a belief in a higher power helps. That higher power for me is God..I do pray , recite some stotras daily.
My mom, dad are very religious. They are very particular about puja, the rituals etc. I am not that types.All I know is be honest, be kind, do your job well and God will help you. "God helps those who help themselves" is my firm belief.
Sometimes, when things don't go well, especially when there are things like sickness/death in the house, I wonder why did God do this to me? Is this fair, where is God now? These thoughts haunt me. In situations like these, a God like figure arrives to ease the pain. He may be a doctor, a family member , a well wisher, someone who understands you and stands by you patiently. He is the one who tells you that there is hope.
I have been fortunate enough to meet God-like people in my life. The ones who helped me in situations where I was stuck, the ones who lifted my spirits when I was down. The ones who I can run to anytime and who will leave everything and run to help me. The ones who restored my faith in humanity after a bad experience with people. I have been lucky enough to meet such good, helpful and genuine people in my life. It would be too difficult for me to classify any incident as 'Divine Intervention' . But the fact is that in my experience , in my toughest of the situations, people have stood up by me and that for me is the Divine Intervention.
Ganapati Bappa Moraya!

-Dhanashree
https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Monday, September 10, 2018

Coffee with 'Sid'


It all started with our mobile talks
Slowly we moved on to gtalk
But when the timing came for the most important thing
It all happened in a coffee shop
"Mujhse Shaadi karogi " he asked
 "A lot can happen over coffee" I thought

We met again, let's talk I thought
Having coffee at the Taj
We spoke about our future plans
We met , we chatted
Coffee was the common factor
Coz "A lot can happen over coffee"

5 years later, as we are parents of a 3 year old
And sleepless nights have become a part of our schedule
A coffee shop is our little quick date escape
Keeping the romance alive in our fast lives instead
"A lot can happen over coffee" , they said
It appears true to me over times now instead

-Dhanashree
https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

कॉपी आणि फुकटचं श्रेय

मी आद्या या ब्रँडचे दागिने वापरते. त्या ब्रॅण्डची अगदी  तंतोतंत कॉपी होतेय त्याबद्दलची ही पोस्ट आहे - (   https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10156836054896165&id=615421164)  खरं सांगायचं तर काही काम न करता त्या कामाचं श्रेय घेणाऱ्यांची संख्या इतकी वाढलीय की त्यांबद्दल काय लिहू तितकं कमी  आहे . पण तरीही ही पोस्ट वाचल्यानंतर काहीतरी लिहावसं वाटलं.
 बाबूजींनी म्हटल्याप्रमाणे " कष्टवीन फळ ना मिळते " संस्कारात मी  वाढले. आपण प्रामाणिकपणे कर्तव्य करावं , अगदी मन लावून काम करावं , मग यश येतच असे घरी संस्कार होते . दिखावा किंवा "शोबाजी"नव्हतीच . लोकांना दाखवायला पाहुणे आल्यावर अगदी साग्रसंगीत स्वयंपाक आणि इतर वेळी मुलांना नुसता वरण भात असं "शोबजी" प्रकरण नव्हतं .
शॉर्टकट हा प्रकारच मला माहित नव्हता . 
" तुमचं बाबा बरं आहे , तुम्हांला १० रुपये अजून द्यायला काय झालं?" असं आजकाल रिक्षावाले म्हणताना दिसतात. माझं यावर एवढंच म्हणणं आहे , १० रुपये फुकट मिळवण्याचा ध्यास का ? का नाही अजुन कष्ट करुन मिळवत १० रुपये? हा १० रुपयांचा प्रश्न नसून तत्वाचा प्रश्न आहे . असं फुकटचे पैसे खाताना लाज कशी  नाही वाटत? जनाची नाही तर मनाची तरी  लाज कशी नाही वाटत? share केलेल्या पोस्ट मध्ये म्हंटल्याप्रमाणे "मग का अडकताय त्याच त्याच गोष्टीत ? नवनिर्मितीचा ध्यास नाही का जराही ?आपण स्वतः काही न करता फोटो सुद्धा copy करायचे , ध्येय काय आहे बरं ? ध्येय जाऊदे , काही संस्कार ?" खरंच यातून संस्कार दिसतात .
आधी कॉपी , फुकटच मोठेपणा घेणार्यांची खुप चीड यायची. आता तसं काहीच वाटत नाही . गाढवाशी आणि  आपलं तेच खरं करणाऱ्या माणसाशी काय बोलावं ? कारण  अशी माणसं हजार खोटं बोलून " मी निप्पाणीचा ताम्भाकुचा व्यापारी लखोबा लोखंडे आणि तो मी  नव्हेच " असं म्हणणाऱ्यातलीच असतात.
-Dhanashree

Chatterbox or No Chatterbox

My little one 'S' says this  to me daily...
"Mumma , I love you ";
"Mumma ,we are best friends ";
"Mumma,  you are the best"
"Mumma, I want to talk to you..let us talk while Dad is watching match"..
And this goes on..
...
.....
......
Today 'S' had matrudin celebration in school..( don't know how matrudin falls today but anyways...)
The activity was making a card in school and talking what you feel about your mother..

After school Me to 'S '- What did you tell in school about me ?

S- Nothing..

Me - Why?

S- Because I didn't want to tell

Me- Why?

S- I didn't want to tell na that's why...

I felt like the moment when your phone has data but the battery decides to go off at the wrong time ...:)

#kuch_to_kaho_kuch_bhi_kaho
#meri_bol_bachchan_khamosh_kyun_hain
#dsaidso
#yetanothermumstory
#justanothermumstory

- Dhanashree
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

To All Those Who..


To all  those who taught me to write
To all those who taught me what to write
To all those who taught me what not to write

To all those who taught the same subjects for years with interest
And never had a tinge on boredom on their faces
To all those who bore my stupid questions
And answered them with full enthusiasm

To all those who pushed me to aim higher
And gave me the courage and guidance to pursue my dreams further
To all those encouraged me in all my endeavours
And shouted at my careless mistakes at that time whenever

To all.those who brought me back up when I failed
And stuck by my side when I needed them as well
To all those who had full faith in my ability
And who erased my self doubts and told me to focus on my capabilities

To all those for whom my success  meant the world
And my failure just an improvement stopover
To all those who knew the difference between teaching and imposing thoughts
And who encouraged freedom in thinking afterall

To all those who held my hand as I learnt a skill
And left it at the right time for it to bloom full
To those who taught with full dedication and affection
If I am somebody worth  today,  it's all coz of you

Thank you!

#HappyTeachersDay #TeachersDay2018 #TeachersDaySpecial
Dhanashree
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Monday, September 3, 2018

The perfect "mommy" weekends

You know you have had a perfect "mommy" weekend when...

Your Saturday morning starts with a school Parent teacher meeting....
Your most important task of the week is doing the action items in the parent teacher meeting...
Your achievement of the weekend is your little one finally dancing to the annual day school song..
Your most important networking is meeting and associating the parent faces to the kids names  that your little one takes while playing "Teacher Teacher " at home..
You finally feel like you have emerged victorious when the teacher has no complaints for your child..
.
..
...
Your Sunday evening is spent by meeting people most of whom know you as your Kids mommy... "Swara' s mummy " it is for me..
And last but not the least..just as you think you need to catch up with friends, your daughter asks you when can she get her friends at home  :)

#parenting_weekends #mommy_weekends_done_right #swara_ke_pass_maa_hain
#justanothermumstory
#yetanothermumstory
#dsaidso

- Dhanashree
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Saturday, September 1, 2018

An open letter to Sachin Pilgaonkar

Dear Sachinji

I grew up hearing "Sachin, Sachin.." While the most obvious Sachin was the Tendulkar , we also grew up with a Sachin Pilgaonkar. Who can forget the Sudhir cum Sudha in Ashi hi Banava Banvi. That movie makes us laugh and entertains us even now. I have lost the count of how many times I have watched it. We are awed by your multi-talented personality- acting, direction , singing and dancing.

In Nach Baliye, you and Supriyaji gave us rockstar performances. We had no doubt you would be the winners. Then came the dance contest "Eka Peksha Ek" on Zee Marathi. You proclaimed yourself a Mahaguru. All I knew till then was what a guru means. But Mahaguru, what was that? But we were still ok with that. We sort of got over your self proposed grandiosity.

As much as I hate the "Mahaguru" in you, the artist in you inspires audiences like me.Starting as a child actor and completing more than 50 years in the film industry is no mean feat. My salute to that.

And hence when I wake up to something like a Mumbai Anthem on YouTube, I get worried. As a actor, performer who has had a long career in the industry, what was the motive behind this Mumbai Anthem? What are you exactly trying to convey here? If it's your love for Mumbai, it's really not coming out. I still haven't got the meaning of this anthem. The lady with the revealing clothes and no expressions, a tactic to merely gain video hits or what was that? I don't know.

An artist definitely has the freedom of expression to choose his roles. But audiences expect more from you. We know you have the capability. Hence I still wonder why why this Mumbai Anthem? Is it just for fun "gammat jammat"? We hope not to encounter such "banava banvi" from you again and again.

From--
A girl who grew up with the likes of navri mile navryala ,ashi hi banva banavi

#dsaidso #mumbaianthem

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

The IIM 'B'aths


Thanks to Rajkumar Hirani's 3 idiots, I can relieve my IIM B campus again. So the other day while watching the song 'All is well', I told my 3 year old 'S' , that this is IIMB- my college.
'S' told me she wants to go IIM B. So I told her , if you study well you get there.
In due course of time,  she has developed a liking for that song 'All is well'.
A few days later.......
.
...
....
......
.......
........
'S' to me( referring to the washroom scenes in the song) - Mumma, did you have bath like this in IIM B?

Me (thinking  OMG .. Why why is she asking this) - No..Why?

S - Then why are they bathing like this ?

Me - Because it's a movie  , it's not real

S ( referring to the 3 idiot iconic pose from the song)- Mumma, in IIMB people do weird things na ( In Marathi, IIMB madhye loka kahitarich kartat na)

Me- No , they dont do like this, it's a movie, only the college is real. Rest is not..

....
A couple of days later......
S ( during her bath) - Why do they have bath like that all is well in IIM B?

I am like .....

Going on in my mind then "All characters and events depicted in this film are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to actual events or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental."

#kahaani_poori_filmi_hain
#thande_thande_paani_se_nahaana_nahi_chahiye_sardi_ho_jayegi
#dsaidso
#justanothermumstory
#yetanothermumstory

-Dhanashree
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Monday, August 27, 2018

The change to "fill"

Read this tweet by Kaushal Inamdar today "As a caterpillar turns into a butterfly, any problem you give to the musician will turn into a song! Art transcends mere entertainment."
I am not a musician but an amateur poet and blogger..sharing my poem inspired by daily life...

The change to "fill"

Every single day I am amazed by your change
The jumps I face as I move ahead

The child in you took water in its arms
The big vehicles made your arms bigger by their charms

You come in all shapes and sizes
Walking quickly in your presence may win me prizes

I hope before bappa comes
He blesses the govt with the wisdom to fill your arms

Till then my heart with worry fills
And jumps with your non-fills *

I am taking about none other than Mumbai's potholes. To see a pic check the first comment

Till then #babuji_dheere_chalna_raste_pe_jara_sambhalna
#ae_bhai_jara_dekh_ke_chalo

*these 2 lines adapted from the poem Daffodils

- Dhanashree

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Bhaiyyas and the Rakhi ka bandhan



I was 9 pm in the night. I was returning from my classes. I was very tired and feeling giddy as I walked. I just sat down outside a shop as I wasn't able to walk further. A noble person offered me water and some food. I was so not well that I just took it without thinking who he was. I felt better and he offered me to drop home. My normal mind would been wary taking a drop from a stranger. But I was so weak and not able to think that I accepted his offer to drop me. I reached home safely.

2 years later, I was on a Konkan trip. I came to know about a person named Ram who helped underprivileged girls. Ram was a young guy in his early twenties and I always thought if there is more to this than just plain donations. Plus his economic background did not seem great enough to start charity. On delving further,  I got to know that Ram had lost his sister in an accident a few years ago. This help, by donations or counselling was his way of helping the sisters of the world.

The point I want to drive home here is, there are good men in this world,  who act like brothers to women in need. This by no means indicates that it is safe to take drop from strangers in the night or all donations have noble intent. But in the age where negativity sells , or where extreme news makes media money, I thought I should also share  positivity that I saw around.
We need to strike a balance between caution and trust. And I think this is the message on this Raksha  bandhan. Maybe reading and spreading this message gets us closer to what we said in our pledge" all Indians are my brothers and sisters "(except one )

Happy Raksha Bandhan all!

#HappyRakshaBandhan
#the_power_of_positive_thinking
#spreading_love_and_hope

-Dhanashree

Saturday, August 25, 2018

Of traditional maharashtrian food, love and memories


[ I had written this post on the occasion of my mum's birthday a couple of days ago. I had also written about food memories earlier  here - http://dsaidso.blogspot.com/2017/07/of-food-love-and-memories.html?m=1 ]

"Curry is a little less today" , my mum said as she looked over the kadhai. " But there is enough solkadi " she continued. Growing up in a GSB household ,having rice with curry was anyways not enough. Once you finished eating curry rice (or amti bhat as it is fondly called) , it was mostly solkadi rice or buttermilk and rice . Contrary to the rice heavy meals in my house, I predominantly chapatis  at meal times. 2 chapatis, bhaji , and then a bit of rice with curry or buttermilk was my thing.

 " You should not only have buttermilk rice , but  have both curry well as buttermilk. Nobody has rice with only curry in our house ", my aaji used to say. I ate so little rice that how could I have it with curry first and then buttermilk , I always wondered.

Coconut laden food is my memory of traditional maharashtrian food that I grew up with. Even if it were a simple thing like varan bhat, it was garnished with fresh coconut. Both meals in morning as well as evening comprised of chapati, bhaaji, curry, rice, kadi/buttermilk to the bare minimum. The special thing about curries in GSBs is it's not only yellow dal curry, but also curries of other pulses like chana dal, Kala vatana, moong, masoor etc. Kala vatana curry is a special one that lot of people like. Apart from the curries of pulses, there are heavy coconut gravy /coconut milk curries like sadhi amti, kairichi amti, golyachi amti. Fish curry was reserved for Sunday's in our house.

One of the things I remember vividly and that was followed throughout is the love and respect with which not only family members but also guests were treated. And food was one of the ways of conveying that. Mum made sure guests were well fed, she found  out what they liked beforehand and designed and cooked the menu accordingly. No matter how much food had to be made, no matter how time consuming it was, mom made it full love and a smile on her face . In fact if guests came, there were even the additional accompaniments like pakoras, koshimbir, raitas etc apart from the basic menu.

For the first 26 years of my life I had only one kind of food. We didn't eat out much and my mum's and dad's side of the family had very similar cooking styles. So even when I visited relatives, I had the same kind of food. This changed post my marriage.  I got married into a Kokanastha Brahmin family which has different variant of Maharashtrian cuisine.

Now I have a 3 year old daughter. Feeding her healthy and tasty food comes naturally to me. That's what's my mum did to me always. Passing down traditional cuisine to her has been effortless at least by intent because its what I have been eating all along. Getting married also exposed me to a slightly different variety of maharashtrian cuisine. The current food that my daughter eats is a blend of two types of maharashtrian cuisines and hence of cultures. As much as the intent of cooking traditional food is effortless, actually cooking isn't even if you have family members and external side help. As a management professional, I looked at a this as a problem which deserved attention and solution.The problem being trying to make the healthy and delicious meals in the time and energy that I have. It was like an optimization problem. To solve this I used the following

1. Plan your meals and menu in advance. It has to be as detailed as possible. This might seems obvious but if not done can cause problems like missing ingredients.

2. Try to use parallel processing as much as possible and sequence tasks well. So if you have two dosa pans then make dosas on both of them simultaneously so that they get done quickly for everyone. Use as many gas stoves you have in parallel.

3. It may so happen that while the veggies are getting cooked, maybe another gas has cooker and you have to be in the kitchen for checking the veggies in between. In such a situation, do things which are pre- prep for the next day like soaking pulses in water. Keep all vessels that you require for next day on the kitchen platform. So morning you spend less time on decision making as much as possible.

4. Use as much automation as possible by  making use of food processor , vegetable choppers and the like.

5.And yes, if I still have some mental bandwidth I listen to TED talks or youtube videos while in kitchen so I feel fully productive .

As Kaumudi Marathe has said in her book Shared Tables " From a young age, love was given to me tenderly on a plate so I also see food as memory and comfort. It is my muse ,  my inspiration, my way to give love"

I was lucky enough to have received this form of love not only from my mum, but also from grandmother and aunts. It's my mum's birthday today and as I write this my mind is flooded with memories of the delicious food she cooked for me.

To my mum and all these Annapurna's I dedicate a poem

I was a little girl
Who always felt hungry
"What's there to eat?", I used to  ask while looking at the pantry

" Your  poha is ready ",my aaji used to say
" I am making favourite kaapi" , my mum would tell

Every morning before my 6 am classes, there were fluffy chapatis being made
I can't go empty stomach was the rule unsaid

Every evening I got late, atya called
"Did you eat anything?" Please eat well that is all

In the midst of all competition,  and what you are doing in your career  calls
These annapurnas still care if I ate well after all
My health matters to them , I am a child in their eyes after all

 Cheers to food, tradition, love and memories.!

- Dhanashree Joglekar
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Monday, August 20, 2018

Of losing and aging


I lost my uncle 'Bhai Kaka' 2 weeks back. He was my dad's eldest uncle's eldest son, almost of a grandfather's age, 95 to be precise. Given that the average life expectancy of Indian males is approx 68 years, Kaka lived a long healthy life. No hospitalization, no diabetes , no BP or the likes. Apart from the last stage of his life, he was never hospitalized. In all this maddening pace of life , things like the death of a loved one make you rethink about a lot of things. Your mind wanders back in time.

My mind went back to my childhood days. Whenever Bhai Kaka would visit us, he would get an Amul ice cream for me and my brother. If we knew Bhai Kaka was coming, the first thing we checked after coming home from school was the freezer and grab the ice creams right away. This was a ritual every time he visited us. Then as time progressed , we got busy, his visits also were slightly less frequent given his age. We became old enough to buy ice creams for ourseleves, even the fancier ones now.

I can now buy as many ice creams I want to for myself. I can order them online if I am too lazy to go and buy. But you know what, whenever I buy an ice cream now, all I feel is grown up. I realise that I am no longer small enough for someone to regularly buy these ice cream cups for me. This ice cream feels different from the one Bhai Kaka got us because maybe it doesn't have the love. Money can buy everything but not love for sure.

I am at a stage of life where my daughter looks up to me and I look upto my elders for their support and love. Knowing that you have the senior generation to look upto is such a comforting feeling. That someone will always be there for you. That you can be a child all over again. And that is why when we lose them, I feel grown up again. We age daily but events like this remind this even more. That time is passing fast and you have to be more responsible now. Anti ageing creams can make you look younger. But nothing feels younger than being the company of your mum, dad ,grandparents, uncle's and aunts..

Who make you feel like a child again and allow you to just be yourself.

#dsaidso #reflections

- Dhanashree

Sunday, August 19, 2018

On the occasion of World Photography Day


"We can take only 3 more" , my dad said." By chance if we get extras ,we might be able to take 5 more. So 2 at Qutub Minar, 1 at India Gate and we should be fine" he continued. This was way back in the mid 2000's and my dad was talking about nothing else but the films remaining in the Kodak camera roll while we were on our Shimla Manali Delhi trip. 24 or 36 films in a roll was the standard then and when we went on trips we would take the 36 one. In case we required more, touristy places would always have these roll sellers as well. But there was never a time like that- as far as I remember trips were meant such that they get done in one roll. Why more -you know? After the trip, these Kodak rolls would be given for developing and printing. Once that was done, put them in a album and you are done. During family get- togethers these were shared with relatives. Birthdays were another event when such pics were taken. Any other special event like award winning ceremonies and all ,they had photographers who you paid for getting clicked and printed.

Then just as things evolve , the camera evolved too. The digital camera came along. A camera where the 24/36 restriction did not apply. The number of pics that could be stored in the digital camera was dependent on the memory. The more the memory the more the pics that could be taken and later could be transferred to a computer for viewing . They could also be printed if required.

Smartphones with increasingly better camera quality were a revolution in photography. Photographs could be easily taken on a camera and with the advent of internet and low cost data plans , photos could be shared instantly on social media. People now share pics on Facebook that they would previously have been hesitant to share to such a large audience. Photo editing and sharing apps like Instagram are a hit among the youth of today.

Potraying " How I look good" or "How I have a good life" through photographs is very commonplace these days. In fact some late millenials ( I mean the post 1995 gen) thinks that if you don't show love or good life on social media ,it simply doesn't exist.

There is a joke saying that if your wife is fighting with you , just tell her you want to take a selfie. For the good looking selfie she might smile and hence stop fighting for a while. Thus photographs even though seemingly real can be unreal too.Photographs are a depiction of emotions as they would like to be portrayed not necessarily as they are truly. As Susan Sontag has put it in her Essays 'On Photography'- "Needing to have reality confirmed and experience enhanced by photographs is an aesthetic consumerism to which everyone is now addicted. Industrial societies turn their citizens into image-junkies; it is the most irresistible form of mental pollution."

From the limited photographs in my childhood to the unlimited photos that we have now, science and technology have come a long way. And given our love for getting photographed and sharing our experiences , photography will only grow further. Newer and better ways of photography as well as sharing photos will continue to evolve. Because as Bruno Barbey has put it so aptly , "Photography is the only language that can be understood anywhere in the world"

#dsaidso  #worldphotographyday #worldphotographyday2018

- Dhanashree

Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Saturday, August 11, 2018

Pyjamas are "NOT" forgiving


I must say I really admire all those  mom's who are super dressed  all the time even when  they are with their kids. I love dressing up too, wearing matching jewellery,  makeup etc. But when I am with my daughter all this doesn't necessarily  apply. I try to slip into my super comfortable loose pants/ pyjamas along with a loose kurta/top. I think sometimes I may just look like I have woken up from sleep.

It so happened that I wore the same black pyjamas for a couple of days when I went out with my daughter.
The second time she told me ( in front of  a few other moms) - "Mum, if you wear the same pant again , pls don't come with me"

I still tell my mum sometimes about her dressing choices and now I have a daughter who does the same to me from all little as 3.
Maybe yes my repeated black pyjamas are NOT forgiving:)

#dsaidso #justanothermumstory #yetanothermumstory
- Dhanashree

Related post -http://dsaidso.blogspot.com/2018/07/matching-matching.html?m=1

*Pyjamas are Forgiving is title of Twinkle Khannas upcoming book

Thursday, August 9, 2018

The Shubh Muhurat


Thanks to the traffic scene these days, there is no exact time that I reach home daily. There is a bare minimum of standard deviation of + or - 20 mins from the mean time I reach daily.

 My daughter S who is seeking my attention and waiting for me to reach home is all excited about me coming in. So then we chat, we play. Then in the hope that she will be quiet when she is well fed, I feed her dinner.

The stage is all set for me to have dinner. I get my plate.

Just as I start eating,  S says "Mumma , diaper, I want to do potty"

Ok not so great timing, I think. To avoid further trouble for myself, I immediately put on her diaper. I again start to eat.

 Before I finish , she has finished her potty.
Up comes her voice, " Mumma I am done, please change the diaper"

Uffff....
No matter how much standard deviation may exist in my arrival times at home, or my dinner time, S's  potty time just has one shubh Muhurat. That's my dinner time- no matter what time I have my dinner :)

My mind goes into flashback mode -
MBA job interview scene - Where do you see yourself 5 years hence?

Me (then)- Learn, take more responsibility  blah blah

Me (now) - Trying to maintain my sanity while being super hungry, yet prioritising diaper changing while having dinner :) , and doing this daily over and over again.

#the_kid_pee_poo_saga
#dsaidso #yetanothermumstory #justanothermumstory

-Dhanashree
Https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Monday, August 6, 2018

Meeting Sayali, Sayalee and Hope!





Sayali/Sayalee/Sailie is my favourite name. Little did I know, or coincidence as it may be called, I generally get along well with people of that name. Sayali Rajadhyaksha is a food and lifestyle blogger that I follow. Her recipes on "Anna hech purnabrahma" (https://shecooksathome.wordpress.com) are amazing. Her writing styling is conversational. Her lifestyle blog - saree and other stories has a lot of stories about saree, jewellery and travel. Through one of her posts, I came to know about a silver jewellery brand named aadyaa. Aadyaa is a silver jewellery brand by Sayalee Marathe. One of the interesting things I bought on aadyaa.com is a silver hope ring. 

This weekend Sayali and Sayalee organized a saree and jewellery exhibition at Cache Art Gallery, Bandra. I had bought one saree last time and it was amazing. Even if I didn't buy, looking at the collection is a treat to the eyes if you love saree and jewellery. I also had to a Poetry event in the nearby so I could do both these things in one trip.

Aadyaa hope ring inspires me- so why not make a poetry on hope on the day I meet the designer of this hope ring. So this is what hope means , talking from the point of view of a person of who has been rendered on a wheelchair due to a strong viral infection

What hope means to me-
I thought I should give up
Things wouldn't work out they said
Somewhere a force said "Go ahead dear , All will be well"

"You will never be able to walk" the doctor said
I sulked and cried uncontrollably that moment
But no I can't give up so easy,my inner force said
I will continue my physio and do all what it takes to get up on my feet and walk ahead
Every moment that I thought of giving up,the next moment my inner voice said "Don't"

That is hope I think 
The inner voice that tells you to go ahead and walk freely 
That hope is the positive amidst all negatives
When hope is lost all is lost
Don't give up on hope dear
Hold on a bit, hope and work towards a better future

Sharing some pictures with Sayali and Sayalee.. I was so mesmerized looking at the collection that I missed taking pictures of the same.

-Dhanashree

Varan bhat

  In the first month of our marriage, my husband visited my mom's for dinner. I wasn't joining, so my mom asked what to make. I come...