What 2020 taught me

 

2020 has been a phenomenal year. It was different in so many ways yet similar in some but overwhelming at times. The thing that was similar was that my circle, the people who stood by me always were with me helping me in 2020 as well despite the challenges that they themselves faced in the pandemic.

 I resumed work post maternity leave in April and since then it has been juggling between Work from home, work for home , childcare , family time and what not.

2020 reinforced some of the values that my aaji , parents and atya taught me. So here goes- What 2020 taught me

 

1. Know your close circle. They matter. No one else does- 

Who comes in your closest circle? Who will help you when things go wrong? Who will get you food  when you yourself can't? Who will sit in the hospital with you if the need be? Who will help you when despite your monetary status( when you are not as well off)? These are the people that matter. Identify these people, cherish them, love them. Have gratitude that you have a few such people in life. It is tough to identify your circle when everything is going on well in your life.

You truly know who is with you when you need help from them. How do they react then? People who come to n parties with you, do they come to help? People who come to you because you have a certain amount of money, a car or a big house are never yours no matter how closely they are related to you.

Time and again when I have faced challenges in my life, only my close circle came running for me. Rest were just spectators or visitors. They came just to mark their attendance and show others that they visited me. But my circle was the one that stood by me like a rock and actively helped to get out of a tough situation. 

In 2020 too, I needed help. House movement ,and raising children, doing a job amidst a pandemic were tough. My close circle kept me going. Right from doing the house movement , to childcare, providing me food when I couldn't cook, the list is endless. 

At the end of 2020, all I have is gratitude for them

 

2. Saving for a rainy day works. It really does

I grew up in a middle class family. Where saving and spending only on necessities and not on extravagance was a way of life. My aaji and everyone in the house would emphasize the importance of saving for a rainy day. 

2020 was a living example of how savings were important . When I joined back work in April, I was worried whether I would be able to manage all of this. I thought what would be the worse case. When I imagined the worse case scenario maybe of taking some unpaid time off, I realised it was an option only because of saving habit and a regular and not so hi-fi lifestyle

 

3. Take one day at a time

In school , when I used to feel the exam papers ahead are tough subjects, my atya used to say first focus on tomorrow's paper. Then we can see about the rest. 

Come 2020 , I applied this principle like anything. Some days were so overwhelming and busy , but focusing on the task at hand produced great results.

Not worrying too much about we have so much to do in the week . But focussing on what needs to be done today is an effective strategy

 

4. Planning and discipline are a must

I grew up surrounded by teachers and hence planning and discipline are in my blood.

2020 was a year of even more intense planning as weekends were dedicated to that: - grocery shopping list, menu planning. syncing mine and husband's calendar etc etc. There is no way I could have done so much of jugglery in 2020 without this detailed planning 

 

5. There is no better time to start than now

My aaji used to say "kasa honar, kay honar vichar karnyapeksha kamak laga". That means instead of thinking what will happen etc, just start working on the task. I have been thinking about losing weight since long. In 2020, amidst all the madness, I started my weight loss journey by following a healthy diet. That involved some additional cooking, planning and hence more effort. But I did it. My thinking of how Iwill be able to manage this in a pandemic madness transformed to lets focus on what all small stuff I can do daily that takes me closer to my weight loss goal. 

The difference that this attitude can create is phenomenal

 

6.Unsolicited advice comes in plenty. The only action that it should have is ignore

At the start of 2020, I made a resolution of not to reason with unreasonable people.

It was not easy but by being mindful about this, I was reasonably successful in meeting this resolution. A lot of unsolicited advice that I received was either to put me down or to boost the advice giver's ego or for the advice giver's selfishness. None of the people who gave this advice came to help me even once. They were not in my close circle.

Hence the best strategy to deal with unsolicited advice is to ignore it,

 

7. You are not answerable to everyone

This is a follow-up from point above. Everyone has advice to give you but you are not answerable to everyone. Who matters is your close circle. No one is your judge.

For example, In 2020, I stopped answering people after the first time if they asked why I am not venturing out.

Once you decide who is your circle, you decide who should you answer

 

The list can go on but these are my key learnings. At the start of 2020 , my younger one was just 3 months. At the end of 2020, she is 15 months. At the start of 2020, I was much more dependent for help in terms of arranging house( my dad did this and I couldn't have imagined where we would be had he not come in to help). At the end of 2020, my dependence has slightly reduced in some things, increased in other. This itself brings about a lot of changes in people dynamics . The people who are not in your close circle want to portray that they are in the hope of receiving help from you .

The people who are in your close circle are always with you. That matters. And that is the only thing that matters.

Happy new year 2021 folks.

What is your learning from 2020?

-Dhanashree