जुळल्या सगळया त्या आठवणी

सगळ्यांचे लाडके आणि दादरकरांचे भूषण अशा देवकाकांच्या स्मृतिप्रत्यार्थ २७ डिसेंबर रोजी "जुळल्या सगळया त्या आठवणी" हा कार्यक्रम दादरच्या स्वातंत्र्यवीर स्मारकामध्ये मध्ये संपन्न झाला . देव काकांची विविध प्रकारची गाणी या कार्यक्रमात सादर झाली. नुसती गाणीच नव्हे तर त्या गाण्यांशी निगडित आठवणी , किस्से, त्यांच्या शिष्यांचे अनुभव या सगळ्यामुळे ती मैफिल अजूनच रंगली .

देवकाका हे आपल्याला उत्तम संगीतकार म्हणून माहित आहेतच. त्याचबरोबर ते एक उत्तम कवी , शिक्षक आणि  माणूस कसे होते याची जाणीव या कार्यक्रमानंतर झाली.   

देव काकांचं शिक्षण विज्ञान शाखेत भौतिकशास्त्र आणि गणित या विषयात झालं. पण लहानपणापासूनच घरी संगीताचे संस्कार होत गेले. त्यांच्या घरी मोठमोठे गवय्ये यायचे. आकाशवाणीत नोकरीसाठी गेले असताना त्यांना विचारल गेलं - तुम्हांला काय येतं? तेव्हा त्यांनी पेटी वाजवता येते असं सांगितलं. तेव्हा आकाशवाणीत पेटीवर बंदी होती . शेवटी त्यांना विचारलं गेलं , तुम्हाला सतार वाजवता येते का? तेव्हा ते नोकरी मिळवण्यासाठी  सतार वाजवता येत नसूनही हो म्हणाले आणि  मग चक्क ७ दिवसात सतार शिकले.

देवकाका नागपूर आकाशवाणीत नोकरीला असतानाची गोष्ट. साधारण १९६८-१९७० चा सुमारास संगीतकर प्रभाकर जोग यांनी देवकाकांना मुंबईहून पत्राद्वारे स्वर  लिहून पाठवले. संगीतकाराने चाल लिहिली आणि मग त्यावर गाणं लिहिण्याचा हा देव काकांच्या आयुष्यातला पहिला योग .  म्हणूनच "स्वर आले दुरुनी , जुळ्या सगल्या त्या आठवणी"  हे अगदी त्या प्रसंगाला अनुसरून गाणं जन्माला आलं.

रवींद्र साठे नानासाहेबांबद्दल( ते  देवकाकांना  नानासाहेब म्हणत)   म्हणाले ,"नानासाहेबांकडे गेलं की  तुम्ही त्यांना काहीही विचारा, ते तुमचं ऐकून तुम्हांला मदत, मार्गदर्शन करणार. आता ते नाहीत, तर कोणाकडे जायचं हा  प्रश्न आहे"

रंजना जोगळेकर देवकाकांबद्दल बोलताना म्हणाल्या , गायकांना ते कसे योग्य मार्गदर्शन द्यायचे. त्या काळात रंजना ताईंचा आवाज काहीतरी वेगळाच झालेला, गाणी छान होत नव्हती.त्यामुळे त्यांचा आत्मविश्वास कमी होत गेला. तेव्हाच देवकाकांनी त्यांना फोन करुन , तुझ्यासाठी एक गाणं लिहिलयं  असं म्हणून बोलावून घेतलं. रंजन ताई तिकडे गेल्या आणि चक्क रडायला लागल्या, त्यांनी त्यांची समस्या सांगितली. देव काकांनी त्यांना एक गाणं लिहून दिलं आणि त्याचा रोज सराव करायला सांगितलं.त्याच बरोबर त्यांनी मी तुझ्यासाठी एक गाणं करुन ठेवणार आहे याबद्दल आश्वासन दिलं. देवकाकांना नंतर एक प्रोजेक्ट  मिळालं होतं- १२ महिन्यांसाठी बारा‌‌ गाणी बनवायची असं.त्यासंबद्धी त्यांनी प्रवीण दवणेंना एक गाणं लिहायला सांगितलं. काका म्हणले, "तू माघ महिन्यासाठी गाणं लिही" त्यावरून  "माघाची थंडी माघाची" हे अगदी ठसकेबाज गाणं निर्माण झालं जे रंजना ताईंनीच गायलंय.

देव काकांनी अगदी वेगवेगळ्या प्रकारची गाणी रचली,लिहिली. युगुल गीतं , विडंबन,समस्वरी, बोलगीतं  असं अनेक प्रकार. देवकाका ओशो रजनीश यांचे भक्त. ओशोंच्या शिकवण्यांवर त्यांनी हिंदी गाणीसुद्धा रचली.ते म्हणायचे-  प्रेक्षकाला संगीताचा स्वर ताल हे व्याकरण कळत नसतं. मात्र भाव नक्की कळतो. अशी भाव पोचवणारी सुरेल बोलगीतं  त्यांनी रचली. त्यातलाच एक बोलगीत म्हणजे - "सांग कसं जगायचं, कढत कढत की गाणं म्हणत, तुम्हीच ठरवायचं..." किती    सुरेख गाणं आहे हे." देवकाकांची काही मस्त विडंबन गीतं या कार्यक्रमात होती . त्यातलं एक विवाहित पुरुषाने म्हटलेले गीत अणि त्याला दिलेले बायकोने उत्तर ही दोन्ही इतके सुरेख होती की बस क्या बात हैं अस वाटयाला लागलं. " जवा हैं मोहोब्बत हसीना हैं जमाना" या गाण्याच्या चालीवर एक लाजवाब समस्वारी गीत सादर झालं जयमाला 'once more'  मिळालं.

बाकी कार्यक्रम अगदी उत्तमच झाला . दादर सांस्कृतिक मंचाचे त्याबद्दल आभार. उत्तरा मोनेंनी कार्यक्रमाचं सुरॆख निवेदन केलं. कार्यक्रम अगदी वेळेत सुरु झाला.स्टेज वर गायकांच्या मधोमध एक माईक आणि त्यासमोर देवकाकांची आवडती पेटी होती. जणू काय ते आपल्यातच आहेत.  कार्यक्रमाच्या प्रत्येक क्षणी "जीवनात ही घडी अशीच राहूदे " असं वाटत होतं.

-धनश्री जोगळेकर (शिरोडकर)
https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

आपण करू ती फॅशन..

 साल २०१३ - माझ्या लग्नाआधीची खरेदी चालू होती . साड्या खरेदी करुन झाल्या होत्या . आता ब्लाऊज शिवायला टाकायचे होते . मला स्वतःला मोठया गळ्याचे   ब्लाऊज  घालायला आवडत नाहीत . लोकांना ते छान दिसतात पण मला ते छान  दिसत नाही असं मला वाटतं . त्यामुळे फॅशनच्या आहारी न जाता मी मला हवे तसे गळ्यांचे ब्लाऊज शिवून घेतले. ब्लाऊजच्या बाह्या मात्र फॅशनच्या आहारी जाऊन छोट्याच ठेवल्या. मला थोड्या  लांब बाह्यांचे ब्लाऊज बरे दिसतील असं माझ्या घरच्यांचं मत होतं. पण मी मात्र त्यावेळेच्या फॅशन प्रमाणे छोट्या बाह्यांचे ब्लाऊज शिवले.

साल २०१८- आता सोशल मीडियावर #deepveer गाजतंय. 

sabyasachi लुक वगैरे काय ते. आता  दीपिकाच्या रिसेप्शनचे लुक बघा ना . ऑफ- व्हाईट प्लेन लांब हाताचा बंद गळ्याचा ब्लाऊज. खर सांगायचं तर आजीबाई सारखा वाटतोय तो मला. आणि सोनेरी कांजीवरम वर हिरवा मोठा चोकर ...वरती चपट , अगदी तेल लावल्यावर होतात तसे केस....‌कदाचित ह्यातलं सौंदर्य किंवा फॅशन कळण्याइतकी मी तज्ज्ञ नाही. बघून जे वाटलं ते लिहिलं. मात्र यावरून आजीची आठवण झाली. आजी म्हणायची " आपण करू ती फॅशन"... कदाचित या #deepveer आणि  #virushka नंतर ही चपट केस आणि लांब बाह्या अगदी "in-thing in fashion"   असेल.

आता माझ्या छोट्या बाह्यांचे ब्लाऊज 'out of fashion" नाही झाले म्हणजे मिळवलं. पण मग तेव्हा 

आजी म्हणायची त्याप्रमाणे " आपण करू ती फॅशन"... म्हणायचं.

- धनश्री

The "cat coloured" eyes

"Oh she is Aishwarya", my gynaecologist said looking at my daughter's eyes. She was wondering at her distinctively grey coloured cat eyes. How come she got those colored eyes given neither me nor my husband have grey coloured eyes?Neither did our previous generation have cat coloured eyes. Google searches and discussions followed on how my daughter could have got those eyes. Apart from the fact that the Kokanastha Brahmin community ( that my husband belongs to) typically has cat colored eyes, there was no other connection we could see.

My doctor said that sometimes eye color changes after 2 years of age. So after 2 years of age, when my daughter's eye color remained the same , we were convinced that this is mostly her permanent eye color.

She is 3.5 years now but any new person that we still meet somehow notices her eyes. I remember meeting a foreigner in Bangalore who asked us how come my daughter has those eyes. She was sad about the fact that her kids don't have those eyes. Kids in my mum's building would ask " ye foreigner hain kya?" Foreigners have stopped by and asked "It is very unusual for Indians to have such eyes no." They are sometimes amazed by her Indian dressed up attire and cat colored eyes with brown hair.

When my daughter was born, I was actually scared by the way her cat coloured eyes sparkled in the night. That an eye colour would draw so much attention and curiosity seems different to me. It is topic I never thought I would have a conversation on , forget doing a Google search and researching on the same.

-Dhanashree

Happy Children's Day..

"Dhanu, wake up" , my dad said this morning.. "it's already 5:45" he said

"Tea is ready and is getting cold" , said my mum urging me to wake up fast

"Have you packed all your stuff?" My aunt asked
"Keep everything together, else you might forget" she said

By then my second round of tea with chapati and bhakri was ready. The taste of which remains the same like the one I had as a kid.

Every single time , I go to my mum's place, I am still treated like a little girl.My favourite food, my favourite things are all ready for me even without asking.  I am sure every girl would be feeling the same way.

 If at all the child in me is alive, it is due to my family who is always taking care of me.  They still discuss books and new happenings with me with the same enthusiasm that they did 10 years ago.Always willing to learn and share:)

 Feeling like a child is not growing or looking younger. It is about being feeling younger and protected, for me it is due to amazing elders who do this for me every single time. Taking care of the minutest detail I may miss...

Due to them, it's a wonderful start of a Children's day for me!

#HappyChildrensDay
#ChildrensDay

My last year's poem on children's Day here - https://dsaidso.blogspot.com/2017/11/childrens-day.html?m=1
-Dhanashree
https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Children's Day Special...

Year - 2004

Me (18 year old adult)- When can I get a mobile?

My Mom- We will get it on your birthday next year

Me (excited ) - Ok

~Conversation ends~

Year-2018

My daughter S (3.5 year old toddler)-- Mum, why can't I take the mobile to school?

Me( with a shocked look)-- Because you are small.But why do you want to take it anyways?

S - ( with her smile) -- coz I want to call, I want to talk to you.

Me-Oh, you want to talk? I can call you na

S-- ( whispering with a smile) -- I want to watch YouTube videos on mobile in school
Me( angrily) -- Why?

S-- Because I want to...I want to take the mobile to school now

~Conversation continues with me telling about no YouTube over and over again~

#ChildrensDaySpecial
#yeh_aajkal_ke_bachche
#yehi_dekhna_baaki_reh_gaya
#justanothermumstory
#yetanothermumstory

-Dhanashree

The 'bold kids' of today

Scene 1-
We were doing our Diwali ritual. Lighting a few sparkles, a few Anar and that's it. Our daughter is just 3.5 years old so we did some bare minimum  Diwali fireworks thing. As we were doing this,  a couple of 8-10 year old kids came to us asking if they could light our Anar. We had a special anar which stayed lit for longer and had a much better speed of going up. I gave one of them to those kids. Then a few more kids joined asking us for the same. I told them that first let my daughter enjoy and then they could take the fireworks they wanted. Then a few more kids came and asked if they could take our sparkles. One kid started this thing and then 4 others joined and directly took our  sparkles.Their parents who were around did nothing to stop the kids from taking our stuff. Despite us saying a clear NO, the kids were boldly taking our stuff. Neither did they understand when to stop nor did their parents who were around did anything to stop this. The kids were all atleast 8 years old. Is 8 years so small a 'kid' age where kids don't understand how to behave?

Scene 2-
A typical kids birthday party scene. So the birthday boy is all set to cut the cake. He is surrounded by his parents and grandparents typically. All the remaining space around the cake cutting is taken by the birthday boy's/girl's friends. They can range from any age group like 1 year to 10 years. In most of these parties the kids around seem to be so much in a hurry to eat the cake that they would do so ( lick the cake, take the cake toppings) even before the birthday boy/girl has cut the cake. I understand that very small kids wouldn't understand how to behave. How about the slightly elder kids? Have they never eaten a cake in their life to be so greedy about it? Can't they behave properly?

Scene 3-
Some groups of kids come to your house. They are your son's/daughter's friends. It's their first time in your house. The ease with which they take out all the toys , things in the showcase from your house is amazing. Trying stopping them and see if they pay heed to your talk. More often than not, they won't. As a kid, I remember when I used to go to someone else's place, my mum's rule was " Not to take anything without asking" . Nowadays the unsaid rule seems " We don't care, we will take anything we want , won't  even bother to ask"

So...

In the examples given above, the kids come across as "bold" kids. Does bold mean doing whatever you want without bothering about others? Does bold mean " meri marzi"?  For me boldness means toughness in facing a situation. If the kids today are doing what they want , essentially changing the situation as per their needs , how will they face real challenges in life? How will they learn to be accommodating and empathetic in daily life?
I , sadly, wonder!

-Dhanashree
https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

दिवाळी , फराळ‌ आणि त्याचं दडपण

(Inspired by an earlier post by Mrinmayee Ranade-also shared on my wall earlier)

चला आता दिवाळी संपली. दिवाळीत बायकांना फराळ करण्याचं‌ दडपण असत असं वाचण्यात आलं. तर हे  दडपण का असावं? फेसबुक , social media वर बायका फराळाचे फोटॊ share करताना दिसतात. त्यामुळे हे दडपण येत असावं  का ? घरातून घरचाच फराळ हवा अशी मागणी होत असेल का ?
त्यामुळे हे दडपण येत असावं  का ?
बघूया...

आपण आपल्या आईला घरी सांग्रसंगीत फराळ करताना बघितलेलं असतं . कधीकधी अगदी नोकरी मुलं बाळं संभाळून हे सगळं तिने केलेलं असतं . मग त्यामुळे आपल्या मनांत आपल्याला आईसारखं करता आलं पाहिजे अशी‌ इच्छा असते. ती कितपत चूक कि बरोबर याचा विचार करायला हवा. मागे मृण्मयी रानडे म्हणाल्याप्रमाणे , काळानुसार भरपूर बदल झाले आहेत . त्यामुळे दोन पिढ्यात होणार्या गोष्टींची तंतोतंत तुलना नाही होऊ शकत.

दुसरं दडपण फेसबुकवरील फोटोंमुळे येऊ शकतं . अमुक एक कोणातरी कसं सगळ करतेय आणि आपण कसं काहीच नाही करत असं वाटू शकतं. तर फेसबुक वरील दाखवायचे दात आणि घरात खायचे दात वेगळे असतात हे न कळण्याइतके आपण दुधखुळे नक्कीच नाही आहोत . तो फराळ पोस्ट टाकणाऱ्या बाईने केलेला असतो की मदतनीसांकडून करवून घेतलेला असतो हे कसं सांगणार ? आणि अगदी स्वतः केला असेल तर बाकीचे जेवण केले का नुसता फराळ बनवायचा म्हणून जेवण बाहेरुन मागवले?

आणि अगदी सगळा फराळ स्वतः केला असेल तर स्वतःच्या घरच्यांसाठी केला . कोणावर त्याचे उपकार नाहीत. ते करतात म्हणून त्याचं दडपण आपल्यावर  नकॊ. प्रत्येकाची परिस्तिथी वेगळी. आणि  त्यामुळे आपल्या सोयीनुसार प्रत्येकजण करतं.
कित्येक बायका लोकांना दिसायला पाहिजे म्हणून मुद्दामून दिवाळीच्या  वेळी फराळ करतात . नाहीतर वर्षाचे बाकीचे महिने साधा स्वयंपाक करतील का याचा प्रश्न पडतो .हे  मी  माझ्या स्वतः  बघितलेल्या अनुभवावरून सांगते.

जेवण केलं असो व नसो , पण ते वाढण्यात पुढे पुढे करणाऱ्यांची संख्या कमी नाही. आता त्या गोष्टींचं किचनमध्ये मधे रांधणाऱ्या बायकांनी दडपण घ्यावं का?

सांगण्याचा मुद्दा हाच की , फराळ घरी केला म्हणजे आपण सुग्रणपणाची परीक्षा पास झालो असं काही नाही . आपल्या घरच्यांसाठी आपण रोज पौष्टिक अणि घरच अन्न करणं महत्वाचं . मग ते स्वतः करा नाहीतर मदतनीसांकडून करुन घ्या.

आपल्या आईकडून प्रेरणा घेऊन, फेसबुक फराळ फोटोस वरुन प्रेरणा घेऊन फराळ केला तर उत्तमच. पण तो नाही करता आला तर त्याचं दडपण नकॊ. कारण आपली सोय महत्वाची.
आणि हे नुसतं दिवाळी फराळाच्या बाबतीत लागू नाही.  अनेक रीती-भाती निभावताना आपली सोय महत्त्वाची.

-धनश्री जोगळेकर
https://dsaidso.blogspot.com

Happy Diwali

The Doctor Conversations

This was about few months ago. My daughter was having cough cold fever. We did the usual- visited the paediatrician, took medicines , and in 2-3 days again the sneezing and cough was recurring.  This continued even once more. I understand that with a 2.5 year old kid all this is seasonal. But understanding this fact and dealing when this happens to your own child are entirely two different things. We decided to consult another paediatrician. He is very renowned one and very experienced in his field, and he also happened to be the father of my gynaecologist. I went there and narrated all what my daughter was suffering from. As I narrated all this, I was in tears. I was not able to see my daughter constantly suffering from cold and was crying at my utter helplessness at improving her situation. Maybe a cold is nothing major. But to see your 2.5 year old coughing, her eyes watering and sneezing for days together was major for me. Still in tears, I asked the doctor was I doing anything wrong. Am I taking good enough care of my daughter?He first calmed me down. He told me there is nothing to worry. Sometimes colds do take long to recover. The tone of his voice was so reassuring that it is impossible to explain in words. He addressed all my concerns even before I could ask them to him. He told me to go home and not worry.

A few weeks back my daughter was sick just 3 days before her annual day. All of a sudden she developed cough and fever. I went to the same doctor and told him that it's best if she gets well before her annual day. I was a bit concerned about this sudden fever this time. Again , in his reassuring tone he assured me that she will be all well and be able to attend her annual day.

Maybe all doctors do tell their patients that they will get well. But there is something different about some doctors, that they are able to understand your concerns and empathetically address them. That you can have a conversation at ease with them. That they don't show an eyebrow when you ask some questions.

I experienced this many times.  Truly empathetic doctors do make a great difference to the patient. When my daughter was born 3.5 years ago, my doctor would visit me post the delivery and every single time she would  help me breastfeed my daughter. I had no such problems feeding. But in the first 2 days, my daughter was sleeping so much that it was necessary to wake her up so that she gets fed. My doctor would do this when she came for her visit. She would instruct the nurses to help me breastfeed and had her full attention on me as her patient.

A good diagnosis definitely makes a good doctor. But in this age where a patient is reduced to a series of medical reports, doctors that try to understand the patient as a human is a valuable breed. To understand a patient, to go into his shoes and see what he might be going through and patiently explaining that is a skill. It is a skill that for me makes such a person a best doctor.

-Dhanashree

The 'Date' morning

Just the two of us together on a date is something that does not happen quite often now. In fact it's a rarity. Thanks to our creation, who  says "Tumhi tithe mi" and always accompanies us where we go.

But today was different. It was just the two of us. After long I must say.

I was a bit anxious, nervous what will follow next. My husband was calm and cheerful as always.

We reached the venue . There were mostly couples around, some ladies with friends and some men too. Some couples with kids. The kids were surprisingly calm.
We chatted , and in that missed our little S's chatter.

After we finished our work at the venue, we went to have our favourite filter coffee. There too we could spot similar faces after their respective Date's.
Finally after the long due 'Date' , we left for home.

P.S. the venue mentioned is nothing but a classroom for a parent teacher meeting , and maybe that's the only time our little one excuses us to go on a date :)

#justanothermumstory
#yetanothetmumstory
#PTADate
#meetingdate

Happy Dasera